


22 Short Stories from Gravity Falls

by ThatGFFAN



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Coming of Age, Fear, Gen, Gravity Falls Oregon, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Nerdy Ford Pines, Post-Finale, Post-Gravity Falls, Pre-Gravity Falls, Pre-Portal Incident (Gravity Falls), Sad, Spoilers - Gravity Falls: Lost Legends, last story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-04-24 07:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 34,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19168909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGFFAN/pseuds/ThatGFFAN
Summary: A collection of 22 short stories from Gravity Falls, Oregon.In these 22 stories, you'll take a trip to the time before Dipper and Mabel came to the town. You'll get to hear stories we never got to hear from the summer of 2012. You'll get a look into the lives of our beloved characters after that faithful summer. And you'll even get to read a story about the man who made Gravity Falls itself...Alex Hirsch, which is partly based of ACTUAL events from the time when his show was on top of the world.This is, I'm afraid to say, my LAST fanfic for Gravity Falls...for now perhaps. It's been an incredible 2 years, writing stories for this incredible show. But it's now time to move on to new things.This story is therefore, the cherry on top of the cake that is, all of my stories (which really are nothing compared to the show itself).





	1. Prologue

It was a warm summer’s evening in Gravity Falls Oregon. Dipper and Mabel sat at the top of a hill with a perfect view down into the valley where the sleepy little town they had called home for so many months now lay. It was the night before their 13th birthday, and the day after it, they would be on their way back home. Both of them therefore were feeling pretty nostalgic. But they didn’t try to show it.

“And then I said to Grenda, it’s probably not a good idea to eat that many sprinkles all at once,” said Mabel, “Trust me, after that whole stickers thing, I learned my lesson.”

Dipper laughed, “Well, I’m sure glad you stopped having sleepovers at the shack cause that sounds like one insane sleepover at Candy’s.”

The two sat there for a while, starring down at the town in the sunset light.

“Man, Gravity Falls looks amazing at dusk, doesn’t it, Dipper?” said Mabel.

“It sure does,” said Dipper, as he sighed.

“I don’t know. You just don’t get the same feeling of amazement when you’re in it as you get when you’re looking at Gravity Falls from a distance. You’re just left wondering what adventures await you down below,” he added.

“You know Dipper,” said Mabel, “I was thinking. What do you think has happened in Gravity Falls that we’ve missed? Like significant little moments that we were never there to see, or stories we’ve never told each other.”

Dipper looked over to his sister, “I honestly don’t know, Mabel,” he said, “I mean, I’m sure what happens with everyone else is not as amusing as what happened to us. And if we had stories, we haven’t told each other, there most likely is a reason why.”

“I guess you’re right. But who knows? Maybe not much happened when we weren’t around,” Mabel said.

“Yeah, maybe. Hey, it’s getting pretty late. You wanna start walking back home? I’m sure if we’re not back soon, Grunkle Stan and Ford are gonna call the national guard or something to find us,” Dipper said.

Mabel laughed, “Oh, you bet they will. Also, do I have a story to tell you on the way back home.”

Mabel began telling Dipper her other story as they walked back to the Mystery Shack. The question of what they missed out on this summer still lingered in the back of their minds. They thought not much else had happened. But what Dipper and Mabel didn’t know was that Gravity Falls has many untold stories. Little ones. Short little stories that are still left to tell. And even both of them have tales they’d rather not tell each other. Plus, events that are yet to happen and others that happened long before they were even born.

But that’s where I come in. The mysterious (and very socially awkward) author. Let’s look into the past, present, and even the future, and explore a few of these little tales, too short to be their own stories, but just long enough that they do not deserve to be left untold and lost to time.

But not recognized as canon by Alex Hirsch (I wonder if he’s read my tweets?).


	2. Story 1: It’s a Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Mabel tries to teach Pacifica how to share by taking her out for breakfast.

“Okay, care to explain why you brought me to this…truck stop of a diner?”

Mabel shook her head, “Pacifica, this is Greasy’s Diner. The best place in all of Gravity Falls for pancakes. And also, the best place to teach you how to share.”

“Sounds more like life shortening junk food,” she replied.

Mabel shrugged, “I’ve eaten their pancakes all summer, and I’m not dead yet, so…eh.”

The two sat down at an empty table.

“Okay Pacifica,” said Mabel, “I texted Dipper and told him to meet us here in half an hour. So, what do you do?”

“Wait till he gets here?” she said.

“No, we order some food so we’ll be ready for when he arrives.”

“What do you mean we?” said Pacifica.

“We’re gonna be sharing the order,” replied Mabel, “I’ll order half and you’ll order half.”

“And let me guess, I pay for everything.”

Mabel laughed, “Well, I was gonna split it but if you insist-”

“No, no!” she yelled, “Let’s shhhh…shaaaa…sharrrr…”

“Share the bill?”

“Yes! What you said!”

After Pacifica had gotten a grip, Lazy Susan arrived.

“And what can I get for you girls?” she said.

“Pacifica,” said Mabel, “Care to order for me?”

“What does ordering for each other have to do with teaching me to shshshshaaarrrrr?”

“You’re getting there. And a lot to be honest. When hanging out with friends or very soon…your only true pairing,” said Mabel, as she winked twice and aimed towards her phone displaying Dipper’s message to meet them.

Pacifica blushed.

“Well, sometimes, you gotta be able to order for them as well, just in case they’re in the bathroom or not able to order.”

“Uh…can you do mine first?” replied Pacifica, “Just so I know how it works.”

“Fine,” said Mabel. She turned to Lazy Susan, “My friend Pacifica here will have your low-fat pancakes with a fruit salad and a glass organic orange juice.”

“Alrighty. And you dear?” said Susan as she looked to Pacifica.

Mabel gave a thumbs up.

“Alright,” she said as she faced Lazy Susan, “My friend, Mabel here will…uh…she’ll have, two quadruple decker pancakes with maple syrup and whipped cream on top, two plates of French toast with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles, uh…six hash browns with two plates of bacon, a potato omelette, a coffee omelette, two large coffees with extra sugar, regular orange juice, and…a chocolate croissant?”

Lazy Susan lifted her shut eye open, “That much?” she said.

“Well, we’re being joined by a friend later so, I thought I’d order for him too,” said Mabel.

“Alrighty then,” said Susan, “Be back soon.”

Once she was gone, Pacifica turned to Mabel.

“Did you order that much just so I have to pay more?!”

“Of course not. I went to sleep early last night and only ate a bag of chips, so I’m starving. And Dipper loves French toast, so that’s for him.”

Pacifica rolled her eyes, “Now I wish we weren’t sharrr…sharrrung…right?”

“Well, it’s a start,” said Mabel.

Soon Lazy Susan returned with the girls’ orders. Pacifica’s plate was overshadowed by Mabel’s mountain of breakfast.

“Thank you, Lazy Susan,” she said, “Pacifica?”

“Yes?” she said as she looked up from taking a sip of her juice.

“What do you say to Lazy Susan?”

“Oh, nice…hair?”

Mabel sarcastically coughed while saying the word thank you.

Pacifica sighed, “Thank you for the food, Lazy Susan.”

“Anytime girls,” she said, “Enjoy your grub.”

Pacifica watched as Mabel began devouring her first mountain of pancakes with a hash brown and bacon strip to go with each bite.

“You want some?” said Mabel with a mouthful.

“Uh, no thanks,” said Pacifica, “I don’t do…heart stopping food.”

“Okay. So, are you gonna offer me your food?”

“What?”

Mabel took a sip of her coffee, “Well, I offered you some of my, “heart stopping,” food. The polite thing to do is offer back some of yours.”

“But I thought you said you don’t eat fruit for breakfast?” said Pacifica, “Come to think of it…have you ever eaten fruit at all?”

“Ah! Say it politely!”

Pacifica sighed, “Mabel? Do you want some of my fruit salad?”

“No thanks,” she replied, “I’m good with my pancakes. And for your information, yes, I have eaten fruit! But quite a while ago if we’re being fair.”

“Come on,” said Pacifica, looking visibly pissed, “Pl…pl…please?”

Mabel nearly spit out her coffee.

“What did you say?”

“I said, can you pl…please eat something healthy for once, please?!”

Mabel squealed.

“Pacifica, you just said please!”

“So?”

“So? That’s like, the politest way to offer something. And well, given that…”

Mabel picked up one of the grapes in Pacifica’s fruit salad bowl and ate it.

“…okay, I’ll have a bit of your fruit salad.”

Pacifica managed to pull a smile.

“You know, I’ve changed my mind a bit on not trying your food,” she said, “That omelette does look good. Can I pl…please, have some?”

Mabel smiled and handed her the omelette.

The two chatted and ate breakfast. Soon they had pretty much eaten it all.

“Boy, I’m stuffed,” said Mabel, as she threw the final hash brown into her mouth.

“I kind of feel bad about eating the French toast,” said Pacifica, “Wasn’t that for Dipper?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll order him some more when he gets here.”

“When who gets here?”

The girls turned around to see Dipper walk into the diner.

“Oh, sup bro,” said Mabel.

“Hey Dipper,” said Pacifica.

“You both look like you had breakfast without me,” he said, “Mabel, what did I tell you about ordering that much bacon?”

“Hey, mom and dad aren’t watching what we eat for another month so I’m gonna savor every bacon strip I can. And, I got it for all of us, but you didn’t come so I gave some to Pacifica.”

“Wait…Pacifica ate bacon for once?” said Dipper as he looked to her.

“You don’t know me!” yelled Pacifica, “And in my defense, it looked good and you were taking forever. Besides, I got Mabel to eat some of my fruit salad.”

Now Dipper was truly shocked, “You got Mabel to eat something healthy? Not even our parents can do that?”

Mabel rolled her eyes, “She said please. I don’t say no to people who say please.”

“Wow,” said Dipper, “You eating healthy, Pacifica saying please? What else did I miss?”

“Well, it’s more fun having a variety for breakfast when you sha…sha…”

“Come on Pacifica, say it,” whispered Mabel.

“Sha…shar…sharing?”

Mabel got up and hugged Pacifica.

“OMG! You finally said it! I’m so proud of you Pacifica!”

“Great. Now can you please put me down?”

“Oh, sorry, sugar rush.”

Before they could say more, Lazy Susan arrived with the bill and handed it to Mabel.

“Oh hey, here’s the bill,” she said, “Here you go Dipper. Now if you excuse me-”

“Hold on!” yelled Pacifica, “You said we were gonna split the bill!”

“I did,” said Mabel, “You, me and Dipper. But Dipper owes me after I bought him Ice cream sandwiches so he’s paying my half.”

Dipper looked at the bill and then gave it to Pacifica, “I didn’t suspect you’d order this much!” he yelled, “And you both didn’t save anything for me!”

“Oh, did we?” said Mabel, as she pointed to the croissant and final plate for French toast.

“Oh. How did I miss that?”

“Beats me,” said Mabel, “Now, I gotta get home and crash onto the couch before this coffee induced sugar rush wears off. See ya later, love birds.”

Mabel walked out of the diner, leaving Dipper and Pacifica to pay the bill. Both of whom were blushing now out of embarrassment.

“So, did Mabel behave around you?” asked Dipper.

“For the most part,” said Pacifica, “She did try to eat a whole pancake in one bite at one point though.”

Dipper laughed, “Yeah, her eating skills put mine to shame. She was the Piedmont elementary school pie eating contest winner, three years in a row.”

“Wow. So, is it common for Mabel not to pay?”

“Not really,” said Dipper, “She paid most for our lunch last time given I left my wallet at home. Guess I owed her. Normally though we split the cost between us.”

“Wow, you both are shar…sharing experts.”

“Not really,” said Dipper. “Did I ever tell you about our argument over our room in the Mystery Shack?”

And so, Dipper and Pacifica sat and talked for a while longer as Dipper had his share of the breakfast. The two then paid their shares of the meal. Mabel meanwhile was celebrating a double victory. She had gotten Pacifica to share, and got her and Dipper to talk. The first step in her grand plan. But that’s a story for another time.


	3. Story 2: By the river

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Ford discovers a mysterious looking creature in a river nearby his home in Gravity Falls

The year is 1978. Young Stanford Pines is strolling through the woods of Gravity Falls. He was writing away in his journal as he walked…

_The way these woods just keep going on is one of Gravity Falls most spectacular and most docile anomalies. You could be left wandering forever without ever finding your way back home. Thankfully, I discovered a river that flows nearby my laboratory which serves as the perfect landmark to follow so that I do not lose my way._

Ford followed the river through the forest in the pursuit of anomalies. But today he wasn’t having any luck. No unusual footprints, no barfing mythical creatures, no weird looking plants, no nothing.

He was about to give up until he noticed something odd in the river. It was a little fish like creature. But it looked more like a lizard, was pink, and had one adorable looking face.

“Well hello their little fella,” Ford said as he bent down to look at the creature.

The creature looked as if it was looking back at him. Ford was impressed by how vigilant it was.

“I swear, you look very familiar. But I don’t know why,” he said.

He grabbed a jar from his bag and scooped the little creature into it. He then grabbed his journal and began to write…

_My journey to find new anomalies was not turning up anything today. However, I just discovered a mysterious looking little lizard fish in the river I was walking besides. I plan to take it back to my lab to investigate._

Back in the lab, Stanford was perplexed at this unusual creature. He had put it in his fish tank to observe it while he looked for anything that matched it. It did not look like anything he had seen before and all the books he had on Oregon native fish and lizard species showed nothing. Had he found a new anomaly?

“There’s only one other thing left to do. Check through my encyclopedia collection until I find out what this could be,” said Ford.

He grabbed book number one of thirty-two. If it was not in here, it was a new species or even a Gravity Falls exclusive anomaly. If so, he would begin studying this creature more thoroughly. But until then, he had a lot of reading ahead of him.

Book by book, section by section, page by page, paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, Ford looked for anything that could tell him what this creature was.

Many hours and many cups of coffee later, he had something…

_Found in lakes near Mexico City, the Axolotl is notable for its permanent retention of larval features, such as external gills, it’s pinkish colour and ability to regrow lost limbs._

Ford looked at the picture featured alongside it. It was a match.

“An Axolotl? How did you get all the way here little buddy?” said Ford to the baby Axolotl who was starring at him from his tank?

He was confused. Had this little Axolotl been a pet that someone disposed of in the river? Was it an illegally smuggled one destined to be sold on the black market that escaped? Or did it swim all the way here? He assumed the first theory was the most probable as he recorded his findings into his journal…

_So, it turns out that this unusual creature I discovered is actually a Mexican native Axolotl. I’m still confused as to how it ended up in a river all the way in the Northern United States, but I assume it was a pet that someone set free into the river. I have no idea what to do with it. I don’t think that this little fella may survive the winter so setting it free may kill it. I’ll see if there is an animal sanctuary that might take it nearby but for now, I’ll be taking care of this little one. I wonder what an Axolotl eats._

Now late at night, Ford cleaned up and headed for bed. He looked back at the Axolotl who was still looking at him.

“Goodnight buddy. Wish I could study you more but I need some sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Whatever the future may hold,” he said.

The lights all turned off, the shack fell silent. The Axolotl crawled back down onto the tank floor and looked out at the moon. Its eyes began to glow.

“Oh, Stanford Pines, if only you knew what the future holds for you. All that is coming that could still be avoided,” said the Axolotl.

It began to glow as its eyes projected a looming darkness. Through it, a one-eyed monster appeared.

 


	4. Story 3: The Dusty Bunny Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While cleaning their room, Dipper and Mabel make an unusual discovery under their beds.

“Ugh, for the hundredth time Dipper, wash your clothes,” yelled Mabel as she swept them under his bed with a broom.

“Why you picking on my laundry?!” yelled back Dipper, “Your scratch and sniff stickers make this place smell like a farmer’s market in the middle of a mall!”

A farmer’s market still smells better than your laundry!” yelled Mabel.

The twins were spending the day cleaning their room up and had hit a stalemate on who’s side smelled more.

Mabel pushed the last of Dipper’s dirty laundry under his bed.

“Look, either you do your laundry or I’m gonna…”

Mabel’s sentence was interrupted when one of Dipper’s dirty shirts flew up from under the bed and landed on her face.

“Ahhh get it off. GET IT OFF!” she yelled as she threw it at Dipper.

“Are you okay?” he said.

“Yeah. Why did you throw that at me?” she replied.

“I didn’t. It came from under my bed,” Dipper said.

At that moment, one of Mabel’s scratch and sniff stickers flew out from under her bed.

“That’s odd,” she said.

Mabel looked under her bed and gasped.

“Uh Dipper, you might wanna look at this.”

Dipper sat down and looked under her bed. He gasped too.

There, under her bed, was a bunch of dust bunnies picking up her stickers and putting them into a pile.

“Alright boys, we’re almost done. We’ll have this place smelling bad in no time, and then…”

The lead dust bunny looked over and saw the twins looking at them.

“The giants! They’ve found us!” he yelled.

The dust bunnies yelled and ran around. Some began throwing the stickers at Dipper and Mabel.

“Hey, stop that! We just wanna talk!” yelled Dipper.

The leader bunny blew a whistle and all the other bunnies came to a halt.

“Oh. Why didn’t you say so? We thought you had come to eat us. My name’s Kevin. Leader of Bunny tribe six one seven.”

“We also are known as dusty bunny boys,” said one Bunny.

“Quiet Steve!” yelled Kevin.

“So, uh, what are you doing throwing stickers away?” asked Mabel.

“Oh, it’s quite simple. We can’t stand the smell of them. You giants keep throwing them under here into our homes. We can’t bare the smell,” said Kevin.

“See, I told you,” said Dipper.

Mabel rolled her eyes.

“So, if you don’t like the smell of stickers, what do you like?” he asked.

“We prefer the smell of the things you call, “dirty laundry.” We’d normally get some from under the other bed. But we’ve been stopped by the tribe that lives under there,” said Kevin.

“Wait there’s a tribe of living dust bunnies under my bed too?” said Dipper, “Hold up.”

Dipper walked over to his bed and looked under it.

“Uh hello. Any dust bunnies under here?”

“We prefer the term dusty bunny clan,” said a voice.

Dipper watched as a bunch of dust bunnies wearing pen caps walked into view. The tallest one came foreword to him.

“My name is Edwin. But my friends here call me Ed. I’m the leader of bunny clan six one nine,” she said.

“LAME,” said Kevin from under Mabel’s bed.

“Six one nine? I’d have assumed you’d be clan six one eight,” said Dipper.

“Oh please. That’s the most predictable name. We’re different. And before you ask, yes. Yes, we are the keepers of the dirty laundry. But we can’t stand the smell of it!” yelled Ed.

“Ha. I told you, Dipper,” said Mabel.

Dipper rolled his eyes.

“So, if you hate the smell of my laundry, then why don’t you just give it to the bunny boys over there? They seem to enjoy it,” asked Dipper.

“We’re not giving up anything unless we get a fair trade. We used to trade stickers with them for a dirty sock. But then they got greedy and kept it all to themselves! So, we retaliated by keeping the laundry down here. But even we have limits. That last amount you sister shoved down here was the final straw,” yelled Ed.

Back under Mabel’s bed, the same story was being played out but to make the other side look bad.

“So, you see Mabel, we have our limits. Your brother throwing those stickers under here was the final straw,” said Kevin.

“But guys, the solution is simple. Just trade a bit with each other and you’ll have peace again,” said Mabel.

Back on Dipper’s side, he had just said the same thing. Ed began to laugh.

“Never. Those greedy stink boys can keep their stickers. They’ll never trade fair.”

“And until they admit their side smells worse,” said Kevin…

“WE’RE NOT SHARING A THING!” said the two of them simultaneously.

Dipper and Mabel stood up and walked to the door.

“Mabel. What are we going to do? These dust bunnies...”

“DUSTY BUNNY BOYS!” yelled Kevin.

“DUSTY BUNNY CLAN!” yelled Ed.

“Whatever they are, won’t stop fighting. And they won’t share anything,” said Dipper.

“Well I’ll say this. They explain why I keep finding my perfume under your bed,” said Mabel.

“Mabel focus! What do we do about the bunnies?”

The twins thought for a while.

Mabel looked over at their beds. Dipper did too. As if twin senses kicked in at the same moment, they both came up with an idea.

“I got it,” they both said.

“Oh, uh, you first,” said Dipper to Mabel. He assumed Mabel’s idea wouldn’t make sense so he felt confident about his plan.

“Why not instead of solving this problem diplomatically, we just make the bunnies switch which bed they’re under. The ones under my bed like the smell of you dirty clothes, which I have no idea why they would, can go live under your bed and the ones under your bed can live under mine given they like the smell of my stickers, which makes perfect sense,” she said.

Dipper’s jaw dropped wide open, “That…that’s actually a very good idea Mabel. And here I was saying we should just switch which bed we sleep on,” he said.

Mabel laughed, “guess I’m the brains now.”

Dipper rolled his eyes again.

And so, Dipper and Mabel got the dusty bunny boys….

“AND DUSTY BUNNY CLAN,” yelled Ed.

Sorry.

And so, Dipper and Mabel got the dusty bunny boys and clan switched around and with that, the two sides lived happily ever after.

All except for Mabel’s nose who had to smell more of Dipper’s dirty laundry as he now kept it all under his bed.

Good thing she had plenty of stickers to keep Dipper annoyed.


	5. Story 4: Pear nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Mabel tries to prove that Grunkle Stan's nose looks like a pear in 72 hours.

“Hey kids, I’m back!” yelled Stan as he walked through the front door with the groceries.

Dipper and Mabel came running in as he put them down on the table.

“Did you get my apples?” said Dipper.

“Yeah, yeah. They’re in the bag kid,” replied Stan.

“I can’t wait to try those granny smiths,” said Dipper as he reached into the bag Stan pointed at.

But as he pulled them out, he was left annoyed.

“Uh, Grunkle Stan, these are pears, not apples.”

“Well it’s not my fault they’re both green. Blame nature,” said Stan as he cracked open a can of Pitt cola.

“Ugh! I guess I’m gonna have to get some apples myself. Come on Mabel,” said Dipper.

But as Dipper looked over to Mabel, he noticed she was looking at one of the pears in a weird way.

“Uh Mabel? You okay?” he said.

Mabel held the pear up to Stan’s face and was left shocked.

“Oh my goodness. Dipper! I figured it out. Grunkle Stan. Your nose looks like a pear!” she yelled as she put the pear in front of Dipper.

Stan spit out his drink, “WHAT?!”

“Oh my goodness you’re right, Mabel,” said Dipper.

“My nose does not look like a pear. You hear me?” said Stan.

“But you gotta admit, it’s the same shape as pear,” said Mabel.

“No way. My nose is orange. That thing is green. And besides, there’s no such thing as an orange pear,” he said.

“Oh really?” said Mabel, “What if I found an orange pear? Would you agree then? Maybe…I don’t know…dress like one?!”

“Oh, oh! Are you betting me missy?” replied Stan.

“Maybe,” she said back.

“Oh, okay then. You have seventy-two hours to find an orange pear. Any old pear that’s orange. But it has to be something people actually buy. No paint! No dye! If you win, sure, I’ll dress up as a pear for a week, whatever. But if I win, uh, you and Dipper are doing the shopping for the rest of the summer,” said Stan.

“Oh, it’s so on,” said Mabel.

She grabbed Dipper’s hand and ran out of the kitchen with him trailing behind.

“Hey! What was that for?” he said.

“I need you to help me. Can you come to the grocery store with me?” she said.

“Yeah sure. I was gonna go there and buy apples anyways.”

“Oh? Okay then. Come on!”

Dipper and Mabel traveled to the grocery store. As Dipper bought and ate apples, Mabel searched the aisles for an orange pear.

“There’s nothing here!” she yelled.

“Hang on. I know another store,” said Dipper.

At store number 2, still nothing. As Dipper tried the apple sauce, Mabel looked all over for an orange pear.

And so that’s how the first day went. The twins went even as far as the other towns looking for an orange pear. By that evening they returned with nothing but a lot of apples.

“Give it up Mabel. We’ll never find an orange pear at this rate. And besides, doing the shopping may not be so bad,” said Dipper, as he ate another apple.

“I’m not giving up yet,” said Mabel, “I still have two more days. I mean I beat Grunkle Stan last time during that whole, who’s a better boss thing! I’m not gonna rest until I beat him again. I’m taking this search online now!”

As Dipper slept, Mabel was up. She scanned through many websites and forums, looking for any information that proved that orange pears existed and where to find them.

The next morning as Dipper was throwing out the trash, he saw Mabel fast asleep in front of the computer with multiple cups of coffee around her.

“Hey Mabel wake up,” he said as he shook her awake. A donut was stuck to her face.

“PEARS, PEARS, PEARS!!” she yelled.

“Mabel, calm down. It’s just me!”

“Ugh, is it morning yet Dip?” she said in a tired voice.

“Were you up all night looking for pears?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Mabel in a tired voice, “The closest thing I found was something called a Bosc pear. But they’re out of season here. They’re only available back home in California! How am I gonna get one from all the way there and back in 24 hours? AH!”

Mabel threw an empty coffee up at the wall and put her head back down on the table.  

“I give up,” she said in defeat.

Dipper gave his tired sister a pat on the back as he thought of something to cheer her up.

“Hey, you worked really hard on this. I mean we went all around town yesterday looking for one and even that farmer’s market where we got all these apples from. And I mean you can always show Grunkle Stan a photo of the pear. Even if it only grows in farms in California right now,” said Dipper.

At that moment it hit Mabel, “say that again Dipper?”

“Grunkle Stan?”

“No, no, after it?” she said.

“Farms in California?”

“Yes that! I think I know a way we can get Bosc pears here by tomorrow!”

Mabel excitedly pulled out her phone and began to make a phone call.

“Hello mom? It’s Mabel. I need your help,” she said.

Dipper gasped.

The next morning, Stan walked into the kitchen excited.

“Well kids, it’s been 72 hours. My nose and I have a list of things you both should go out and buy,” Stan said in a cocky tone.

He looked over to the twins who were getting ready to open a parcel.

“What’s in the box?” he said.

“It’s a surprise,” Mabel said excitedly.

“Ha. As if. Well I mean it probably isn’t as exciting as you both having to do the…the…”

Stan was left speechless as Mabel lifted the box away to reveal a bowl filled with orange pears.

“I win!” Mabel said in a proud voice.

“But…but how?” replied Stan.

“Well, Mabel was up all night yesterday looking at pears and she found one that was the right color but it only grew in California,” said Dipper as he took a bite of it.

“Hey, these are not bad,” he said.

“I thought we’d never get one here in time but luckily, our mom has a friend who just happens to work on a farm that grows these types of pears. She hooked us up pretty quickly,” said Mabel.

Stan was left speechless.

Mabel walked up to Stan and gave him one of the Bosc pears, “and Grunkle Stan. As you can see, this is the original color of the pear. No paint, no dye, no nothing. Just like you said. It’s a genuine, honest, fully orange, pear. Just like your big nose,” she said.

The twins both began laughing.

“Fine. I guess you both won. If you need me, I’ll be at the store,” said Stan.

“Wait Grunkle Stan. We already did the shopping for you when we were out looking for pears. You’re welcome,” said Dipper.

Stan smiled a bit, “Thanks kids. By the way, what’s actually in that box?”

“See for yourself,” said Mabel as she handed it to him.

Stan opened it and looked inside.

“Oh come one!” he yelled, “Already?!”

“Hey! A deal’s a deal. Now go try it on! I paid good money for that!” yelled Mabel, “Please?”

And so, for the rest of that week, Grunkle Stan had to do tours while wearing a giant pear suit. At the start of it all, Mabel would show up and say...

“Behold ladies and gentlemen. I present to you your tour guide, the amazing, pear nosed old man! Just look at that nose. It’s big and scary! I think there even maybe some hairy boogers in there too.”

“I hate losing,” said Stan, as one of the kids began poking his nose.


	6. Story 5: The Lucky Twin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A series of lucky events make Dipper believe he's having a lucky day. Meanwhile Mabel tries to prove him wrong while dealing with her own set of unlucky events.

It was a beautiful morning in Gravity Falls Oregon. Dipper walked down the stairs and sat down next to Mabel at the table.

“Morning, sleepy head,” said Mabel.

Dipper yawned, “Oh, good morning, Mabel,” he said as he poured out some cereal.

At that moment, a small box fell out of it.

“Oh, hey what’s that?” he said.

“Those are the lucky box prizes at the bottom of these cereal boxes,” said Mabel, “Guess that’s why they’re called Lucky-O’s. It says on the back they can have a stink bomb in them or an actual gold coin.”

Hearing this, Dipper carefully began to open the box. Mabel held her nose just in case there was a stink bomb inside.

“Oh, my goodness, Mabel. It’s a gold coin!” he yelled as he held the coin up to show Mabel.

“Wow,” she said, “What are the odds of that?”

“I heard someone say the word gold and came to see if there was any,” said Stan as he walked into the kitchen.

Mabel was about to explain to him what had happened when Stan cut her off.

“Anyways, Mabel, I checked my old calendar and it seems you’re overdue to do the graveyard shift in the gift shop with me. Those late-night tourists often come for the more expensive stuff. I need you here at nine PM stat!”

“Aww, but Grunkle Stan. I promised Candy and Grenda I’d go watch a movie with them. Can’t you get Dipper to do it?” she asked.

“Normally I would, but I feel rather generous today for some odd reason, so no. You’re doing it,” he said as he left the room.

“Woah. The gold coin, Stan being nice and not making me do the night shift…I think I’m having a lucky day today,” said Dipper.

“What? No way. Those are pretty lucky coincidences at most,” protested Mabel.

“Oh really?” said Dipper, “Or do you just not want to admit I’m lucky today?”

“Oh yeah?” said Mabel, “Well, I gotta go into town to see if this punch card I got for this juice place is valid. If so then I may have a hundred bucks in it. How about you come with me and we’ll see if you really are lucky.”

“Oh sure. I can’t wait for you to say you’re wrong,” said Dipper.

And so, Dipper and Mabel began their walk into town.

As they were walking, a bus was driving past.

“Hey look out!” yelled Dipper.

Before Mabel could react, the bus passed by and splashed her with water from a puddle.

“Ah come on, I just kitted this sweater yesterday!” she yelled.

Mabel then looked over at Dipper who had just walked front of a mailbox as the bus passed by, leaving him perfectly dry.

“Oh wow, I seem to have not been soaked. That seems very lucky of me, huh?” he said mockingly.

“Ugh! Wait here while I go back and change!” yelled Mabel.

Dipper sat at the bus stop and waited for Mabel. She returned fifteen minutes later looking even more mad, and covered in leaves.

“Woah, what happened to you?” he said.

“Some lady’s dog got loose and chased me for half a block. I hid in a tree until a squirrel chased me down. Can we just take the bus into town?” she asked.

Dipper nodded, “You know, that sounds very…unlucky,” he said tauntingly.

“Shut up,” said Mabel.

A few minutes later the bus arrived. Dipper payed the fare and boarded but as Mabel reached into her sweater pocket, there was no money in it.

“Uh, Dipper, I don’t have any change. It was all in my other sweater,” she said as she looked up to the now annoyed looking bus driver.

“Sounds very unfortunate if you ask me. Guess I’ll have to pay for you,” Dipper said mockingly again.

“Can you shut up and just pay? I’ll pay you when we get back. Happy?!” yelled Mabel. The bus driver looked much more cross as Mabel smiled innocently and walked away.

Dipper was still determined to prove to Mabel that he was having a lucky day. As they walked to the end of the bus, Mabel sat down on a seat with gum on it.

“Ew!” she yelled, “Ugh, what a crummy day.”

As Dipper looked around, he noticed an unusual looking crumpled piece of paper on the floor. He picked it up and was left shocked.

“OMG Mabel. I just found a fifty-dollar bill on the floor,” he said as he showed Mabel the money. Her jaw dropped wide open.

“What? How…what…” she said in shock.

“Come on say it already! Say that you’re wrong and that I really am having a lucky day!” he said.

“No way. This punch card here that I got in the mail has one hundred dollars in it. And when you see me able to buy more juice and ice cream than I can drink, you’ll see that your so called “luck” is nothing more than a coincidence,” she proclaimed.

Eventually the twins reached the store. Mabel tried to smile back to the bus driver but as soon as she got off, he slammed the doors shut and drove off much faster than normal.

“I think I made up with him,” she said in a skeptical tone.

The twins walked into the new juice restaurant and stood in line. Mabel was eager to prove to Dipper that her luck was going to change so much that she ran up to the counter first.

“Hi there, I was wondering if this gift card you guys sent us in the mail is valid,” she said, handing it to the cashier.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. But these are not real cards,” Sis the cashier.

“What?!” Mabel yelled.

“Yeah. These were just given out for promotion. I’m sorry,” the cashier replied.

Mabel sighed as she walked away.

“Hey Mabel! Aren’t you gonna order anything?” asked Dipper.

“No. And I don’t even have any money. You can,” she said.

“I’ll get you an ice cream,” he replied.

But as Dipper walked up to the counter, all the employees walked up to him.

“Congratulations sir! You’re our one thousandth customer!” said the cashier.

Mabel turned her head around as her jaw dropped.

“Really?” replied Dipper.

“As a thank you from all of us at Jaiden’s Juice and ice cream, you’ve won free ice cream for a whole month!” the cashier said as she handed Dipper a giant rocky road sundae with pistachios and gummy bears on top of it.

Later outside at a nearby park, Dipper was eating his huge sundae while Mabel had to settle for a chocolate cone.

“Oh, come on, don’t feel bad Mabel. At least I got you an ice cream,” he said as he gave her one of the gummy bears on his sundae.

“Okay fine!” yelled Mabel as she ate the gummy bear, “You win!”

“So, you admit it?” replied Dipper.

“If that makes you shut up, then fine! I admit you’re having a lucky day! There, happy?” she said.

“Ha.  I told you so!” said Dipper as he began to dance.

A defeated Mabel grabbed the sundae from him and walked over to an empty bench to sit and wait for Dipper to stop dancing.

“I told you! I was right. You were wrong,” he sang.

Mabel sat there, trying to ignore him, when all of a sudden…

“Look out!” someone yelled.

Before anyone could react, a baseball came flying out of nowhere and hit Dipper right on the head.

“Dipper!” yelled Mabel as she ran over to him.

“Sorry,” yelled a kid from across the field.

Dipper looked around as Mabel arrived.

“You okay bro?” she asked.

“I…I think. What happened?” he asked.

“You got hit with a baseball on your head while you were dancing,” replied Mabel.

“Oh,” he said, “Wait, why was I dancing?”

“Well, you were dancing because…”

At that moment it hit Mabel. Dipper had forgotten about her admitting defeat. She hesitated at first but then responded.

“…because, you won free ice cream for a month at that new restaurant because you were their thousandth customer,” she replied.

“Oh really?” he asked.

“Yeah. See?” replied Mabel, handing him the sundae and the award he received.

At that moment, Mabel’s phone rang. It was Stan.

“Hey uh, Mabel. So, I was thinking and, I’m feeling awfully tired today. I guess that late night poker game was not a good idea. So, I’m just gonna call the late night shift off for today. Have fun at the movies. Try not to drink too much. Oh wait, you’re twelve…Ah! Stupid head…STOP LICKING MY SOCKS WADDLES. Ah! CALL YOU BACK!” he yelled before hanging up.

“Wow Mabel. You got pretty lucky. Grunkle Stan never gets sick when it’s my turn to do the night shift,” said Dipper.

“I guess I did. Well I mean you did too. You got free ice cream for a month,” responded Mabel.

“Yeah. Hey, wanna get some more and have an ice cream eating race?” replied Dipper.

Mabel smiled, “you had me at ice cream,” she said.

And so, Dipper and Mabel spent the afternoon eating a lot of free ice cream thanks to Dipper’s good luck. As for Mabel, she was not only happy that she no longer needed to do the graveyard shift, but also because Dipper had completely forgotten about her admission to the fact, he was having a lucky day. And since Dipper didn’t seem like he’d be asking her that anytime soon, she decided to just keep it a secret only she knew.


	7. Story 6: Lovely Night for a Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: When Ford has trouble sleeping one night, he decides to take a late night drive into town to clear his head. But along the way, he runs into another member of his family, dealing with a similar problem.

Ford started up the stairs. He wasn’t getting any sleep tonight. He knew that for a fact. He decided maybe a drive through town would help calm his nerves. He’d do that all the time while in college when he was stressing over exams. Maybe even get a donut and coffee while out too. As he made it to the top, he saw a familiar face coming down the stairs too.

“Mabel? What are you doing up so late?” he asked.

Mabel looked at him surprised, “uh…might I ask you the same thing?” she responded.

The two looked at each other for a bit before Ford spoke.

“I…I can’t sleep. So, I was gonna go take Stan’s car out for a late-night drive,” he said.

“Oh, you too huh? Yeah, I haven’t gotten any sleep at all since…well…you know,” said Mabel.

Ford sympathized with her. After all, her Weirdmageddon fuelled insomnia was indirectly his fault.

“Wanna tag along with me, Mabel?” he offered.

Mabel smiled, “Sure. Where are we going?” she asked.

Ford thought for a minute as he looked out the window. An idea then hit him.

“I know just the place,” he said, “But first, how about a donut?”

Mabel smiled even more as she ran out towards the car.

The two drive through the forest and into town. At 1 AM, on a late August night, Gravity Falls truly was a different place. The glow from street lights flowed over the car in a continuous pattern of light and dark. Very few people were out this late. Mainly street cleaners, security guards at the museum and the occasional tourist driving past, trading in sleep for time.

The two pulled up in front of a coffee shop and got out. Ford got a regular plain bagel and medium coffee. Mabel however surprised him by ordering the most sprinkle filled donut they had (which he knew she would), and also an extra-large coffee. He always had assumed she hated coffee.

“Oh no. I’m about as much of a coffee addict as you are Grunkle Ford. Normally I just mix it up into Mabel juice. It tastes better after a couple packets of sugar,” she said humorously, before gulping down her drink.

“You really are a miracle of nature Mabel,” said Ford as they continued driving.

The two soon reached their destination, a hill overlooking all of Gravity Falls.

“Here we are Mabel. Welcome to lookout peak,” he said.

Mabel stared down into the valley in awe. Even this late at night, she could see everything clearly. The town of Gravity Falls which she had been calling home for these last few months glowed in the darkness like a beacon. The twisting one-way road leading from town towards a single glow in the woods signalled the location of the Mystery Shack. The cliffs carved out by the UFO towered over the valley with Trembly Falls gushing over one side into the lake below, where she, Dipper, and Soos went looking for the Gobblewonker all that time ago. Finally, there was the road. The long twisting road that stretched out beyond into the horizon on both sides. One-way lead towards Washington state while the other side ran all the way back to California…home.

“This is incredible,” said Mabel, “How do you know about this place?”

“Back in my younger years when I was investigating this town, I’d come up here and watch the sunset and listen for the call of the eye bats,” replied Ford, “Not much really has changed of that view since then. The Gravity Falls you know and love is still in many ways the Gravity Falls I chased after all those years ago.”

The two stared down into the valley for a while, before Mabel looked up at Ford.

“I forgive you, Grunkle Ford. You know I do…right?”

Ford looked down at her in surprise, “What?” he asked.

“I know you don’t want me to think you care about Dipper more than me. I know that you care about both of us equally. You don’t have to be sorry for something you’re not guilty of,” she said.

“But…but I tried to take Dipper…”

“No, you didn’t,” interrupted Mabel.

“No, you didn’t, Grunkle Ford. You acted in a moment of hope. You saw in Dipper what you saw in yourself all those years ago. You didn’t do it to hurt me. I was broken already that day. I guess, for me…hearing Dipper wasn’t gonna come home with me was the final straw. I never held anger towards you for that. And you shouldn’t beat yourself over it anymore. It’s in the past now,” she said.

Ford looked at her, smiled as his eyes watered up and pulled her into an embrace.

“Oh Mabel,” he said, “I don’t deserve to have a niece as incredible as you. I guess in all my years of isolation, I never really realized how much family will care for you. I thought I lost you that day. Not just in person, but as a being able to call myself your Great Uncle. I guess…I guess…”

“You saw Dipper as someone you could mold into you?” she said.

“Yeah,” replied Ford, “I guess in my pursuit of finding a successor, I tried too hard to make Dipper into me. And I don’t want that. I don’t want him in a lab working with chemicals and other dangerous things. He’s still a kid like you. He deserves to enjoy that. He deserves to enjoy what’s left of his childhood. And not with someone who knows nothing about having fun, but with you…his sister.”

Mabel smiled, “Aww. Grunkle Ford, you’re fun too. I never saw Dipper have as much fun playing Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons with anyone as he did with you. Seeing him happy made me happy. Of course, I’d pick on him about it. But I’m his sister. We do that all the time,” she said with a laugh.

Ford smiled back, “So, we good?” he asked.

“Of course, Grunkle Ford. I love you no matter what. Family always gets on each other’s nerves. But it’s the fact we can overcome and get along afterwards which makes our bond special. No one else would understand it.” said Mabel as she looked up to him.

“I guess it took me a while to realize that. With Stanley especially. He cared about me for over thirty years. He wasted them trying to get me back. And I punched him in the face for it. I promise, I’ll make it up to him. I owe him a lifetime,” said Ford.

“I know you will,” said Mabel, “You know Grunkle Ford, this whole summer…and I guess all that happened in the last two weeks especially, really was a lesson for you, me and Dipper. I learned that it’s okay to be afraid to grow up and fear reality, but that you’ll always have friends and family to help you along the way. Dipper learned not to grow up too fast, and to enjoy this time while he has it. I mean, we start high school in a year and our childhoods are gonna end soon. Like you said, we have to enjoy what we have left.”

“And me?”

“You learned that family will always have your back, no matter what,” said Mabel.

Ford smiled, “I guess I did. Thanks Mabel. It was nice to finally talk to you one on one. I really wish I could have done more of it with you.”

“Don’t worry Grunkle Ford. As long as you or Grunkle Stan don’t tell mom and dad about…you know what, then we should be back next summer to bug you both,” said Mabel.

Ford laughed, “I’ll be sure to buy more coffee by the looks of things.”

The two looked at the stars for a bit before driving back home. The next morning as Dipper and Stan walked into the living room, they came across one of the most heartwarming sights imaginable.

Mabel and Ford were asleep on the sofa with a book laying on the floor.

“Typical sixer,” said Stan, “Staying up all night and crashing on the sofa while reading a nerdy book. Though, I don’t know what Mabel’s doing with him.”

Dipper bent down and picked up the book.

“Actually Grunkle Stan,” he said, “This is one of Mabel’s books. Do you think…?”

The two looked at each other and then back at their sleeping twin siblings.

Stan smiled, “Well, it looks like the world’s nerdiest old man finally won over your sister, kid.”

Dipper put his hand over his mouth, “let’s let them sleep, okay?”

The two agreed and headed into the kitchen. Before doing so, Dipper ran upstairs and got a blanket which he put over the two of them. As he headed for the kitchen, he felt happy that his sister and other great uncle had finally bonded. Though he assumed it was just over the book, he had no idea about their little adventure that night. Afterall, he didn’t know how lovely last night was for a drive.


	8. Story 7: One Con and a Mabel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: In the mists of his family falling apart, Stan finds a chance to salvage it when one of his family members asks him to teach her the art of being a con.

Stan stormed into the kitchen. He was barely containing his anger in.

“After everything I told him, he still does it!” he yelled.

 He knew Dipper was going to head downstairs to try and talk to Ford eventually, but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. He had told him not to multiple times, that Ford’s work was too high risk and that he should not get into that.

But he was dealing with a literal younger version of his brother in Dipper. It was only a matter of time. Now Stan wished he had spent more time bonding with the boy. Not letting him in or even being there for him that much had left him open to other influences. The author of the journals, the man he had labored to find for the whole summer was now living in the basement of the shack he had called home all summer. Of course, he was going to hang out with him.

Stan feared it. He honestly did. What if Dipper ended up like Stanford? What if him and Mabel ended up like him and his brother? As Stan sat there, he couldn’t help but feel sorry. Why could he not have waited until after the kids had left to light the portal? In his rush and longing to be reunited with Ford, he let himself put the kids in a danger far greater than anything the portal ever could have done…the danger of becoming like him and his brother. He could feel his once whole family crumbling at the seams.

Stan’s fear of his family’s impending breakup however, was halted as he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. At first, he assumed Dipper was coming or Ford, but it was Mabel. She raced in with her up beat smile and a brand-new green sweater, which curiously, had dollar sign on it.

Mabel jumped up and sat down next to him, “Morning Grunkle Stan,” she said.

“Morning Mabel,” said Stan. Not assuming much more.

He thought Mabel would soon be heading on her way. Probably to go knit a new sweater, hang out with her friends, or anything else that she would normally do, and nothing he forbid. So for that reason, he was not ready for what she actually did.

“Grunkle Stam, can you please teach me how to con people,” she ordered.

Stan got taken aback by that request. Of all people, Mabel? Why would she want to know how to be a con? She was the nicest, most honest and least self-centred person he had come to meet in his whole life. Now she wanted to learn how to be the opposite of that?

“Why…why would you want to learn a stupid skill like that?” he asked.

“Because, I want to be just like you,” she replied simply.

Stan didn’t know what to say. He could not believe it, “I, uh…”

“So, are you gonna teach me Grunkle Stan, or what?” Mabel asked. The look in her eyes showed him that she was not playing around.

“Well…well, I can’t teach you looking like an unemployed truck driver. Step one missy, always look your sharpest,” he said as he got up to get changed. Mabel looked on with excitement in her eyes.

While in his room changing, Stan was still struck with disbelief. Dipper would never ask something like this and would keep Mabel away from such things too. Now all of a sudden, she was interested in him?

Stan looked at himself in the mirror, “All right, don’t mess this up, me. Mabel is counting on you,” he said as he put on his iconic red fez. Mr. Mystery was in and the Mystery Shack was now open for business.

“All right, I’m gonna start simple with you given you’re a beginner,” he said, “This one is part of the sleight of hand tricks. I learned from a magician I worked for during my time in Vegas.”

“Oh, how was that like?” asked Mabel.

“I honestly don’t remember much. I payed more attention to the _shows girls_ than the actual guys playing cards. You know, now I get why the mafia ran me out of that job literally five days into it.”

Mabel began to laugh, “Wow Grunkle Stan, you sure lived the good life.”

He gave Mabel a little playful nudge, “Hey, when did you get so naughty?” he said jokingly, “Alright, alright, now pay close attention. I’m about to make this coin vanish right before your eyes.”

Mabel payed close attention, studying every one of Stan’s moves. She watched as he moved his hands around and right before her eyes, made the coin vanish.

“Wow!” she said, “Where did it go?”

“Well, let’s just say you’re more likely to find it than my ex wife’s alimony checks.”

Stan moves his hand over to Mabel’s shoulder and revealed the coin, “It was behind your ear the whole time silly,” he said.

Mabel looked at him surprised, “That was awesome,” she said.

“You really think so? Last time I tried it; the couple threatened to sue me for endangering their children.”

“You bet I did. So, how do you do it?” she asked.

Stan was left with a sense of joy. He spent the next hour teaching Mabel the trick and even let her try it out on a group of tourists. The sight of her wowing them and being handed wads of cash made his old money hungry heart gleam with pride.

“So, how was that for a first time go?” she said as she handed him the cash she made.

“Huh…beginners’ luck,” replied Stan. In reality he was beyond impressed with her.

“How about you keep that dough for yourself. Don’t tell Dipper though,” he added with a wink.

“I promise,” replied Mabel with another wink.

Stan had to go shopping for groceries that afternoon, so he took Mabel along with him into town. He showed her tricks that he always used to save money.

“You see Mabel, normally when parking in town, you have to _pay_ these meter things…otherwise they’ll, _tow_ your car away. But if you park on the sidewalk, thanks to Gravity Falls weird road laws, they aren’t allowed to tow you given you’re not on the road. Saves me like 2 dollars every time I go shopping,” he said.

“But what about pedestrians?” asked Mabel.

“You just have to hope they’re not in your rear-view mirror when you’re reversing,” he replied as the two got out and walked into the grocery store.

“Now here’s another clever trick. Security over there checks your receipts to make sure all the items you’re walking out with are the things you actually bought. But they can’t stop you if nothing you buy has a barcode.”

“Isn’t that shop lifting?” said Mabel.

“Mabel sweetie, it’s only shop lifting if there’s a barcode on it. That activates that beeping machine which irritates my hearing aid. But if you scratch the barcode off, or cover it up, it won’t beep and given it doesn’t, security won’t notice. And if they do, just say it’s a free sample. Works for me every time.”

Stan began painting over the barcodes of the stuff he was planning on _buying_.

Mabel got in on it too, and by the time they were leaving the store, they both had shopping carts full of _free samples._

“Excuse me sir, where’s your receipt for all this stuff?” asked the security guard.

“These are all…free samples sir” said Mabel.

“Yeah! What the kid said,” added Stan.

Skeptical, the security guard grabbed one of the items and walked to the other side of the store theft detector. It didn’t beep.

“And you thought we were lying, huh?” said Stan.

Baffled, the security guard shrugged it off and let them go. The two began their drive back to the shack, eating some of the chocolate Mabel got while Stan told another one of his stories.

“And then I told Edward, how on Earth will a bunch of weasels survive a flight to Hong Kong without food? He then puts a gun to my face and tells me to shut up and keep loading the Pan Am jumbo. Needless to say, I got fired after Edward was found barely alive when they opened that hold up in Hong Kong. And no weasels” said Stan.

The two began to laugh.

“Geez Grunkle Stan, how did they not kill you?” asked Mabel.

“Guess it had to do with the fact that by the time they found out, I was already at the Alaskan border, using one of my fake ID’s to sneak through Canada,” he responded.

The two laughed. Soon they sat in silence for a while before Stan asked the question on his mind since the moment Mabel asked him to teach her how to con.

“So, why’d you ask me pumpkin?” he said.

“Ask you what?”

“Why did you ask me to teach you how to con? I mean, you of all people would be the last person I’d assume would ask me. So, why did you?”

Mabel sat in silence for a bit before she started speaking.

“I don’t know,” she replied, “I guess…I guess I just felt a bit lonely. I mean, all this summer it’s just been me, you, Dipper, and Waddles. Wendy and Soos too, but mostly us four. And now that Ford’s here…I…I just feel a bit left out. It’s like we just no longer have fun as a family anymore,” she said.

Stan could literally feel Mabel’s emotions by now. He could relate. But he let her continue speaking first.

“I’ve been up quite a lot at night now. Sometimes I just hear you and Ford arguing about something, or Dipper staying up late because he’s helping him with something. And I just get bored. I mean, I love hanging out with Candy and Grenda, but I want to hang out with you and Dipper too. I love Grunkle Ford, don’t get me wrong. And I’m happy Dipper finally found someone as nerdy as him and that you got your brother back. But…I just feel lonely. I feel as if-”

“You feel as if you and Dipper are going down the path me and Ford went down. Right?” interrupted Stan.

“Well…I uh-”

“Hey, it’s okay Mabel,” replied Stan, “You don’t have to be afraid of saying that. I get how you’re feeling. I’ve noticed it too. I guess I should have seen it coming with me, what with how I’ve treated Dipper this summer. But it still gets to me how similar the two of you are to us…How similar he is to him. I guess that was sort of why I wanted to protect you two from Gravity Falls’ weirdness. I lost my brother to it. Even though he’s back, he’s still lost within it. And Dipper might be on the verge too.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s why I tried to learn how to be a con like you,” said Mabel, “I mean, if Dipper is going to be an expert at something, I want to be good at something too.”

“I’ll tell you one thing you are an expert at being,” said Stan, “A good niece. You really brightened up my world ever since you and your brother first got here. It’s been a great journey. And while I loved hanging out with you today, you do know being a con is not a good thing. I mean, look how many times I’ve gone to jail for it. I don’t ever want to see you go down that same path too, sweetie,” said Stan.

“Aww…thanks Grunkle Stan. And don’t worry. You know I’d never end up like you. I mean, for starters, my nose doesn’t look like a pear,” she said with a laugh.

Stan just shrugged and gave her a playful nudge.

“But really, I just wanted to hang out with you today. I missed when it was just the two of us. Great niece and Grunkle against the world,” she said as she moved in to hug him.

Stan felt a sense of both bitter sweet happiness and remorse. Happiness to know that Mabel would love him no matter what, and remorse because deep down, he knew that it may be only a matter of time before Dipper and Mabel’s sibling relationship would be tested like it was with him and Ford. And while he wanted to say history would not repeat itself, he didn’t want to lie this time…even if lying would have made him feel better.

“Alright, alright,” he said “Come on. How about you and me get dinner ready for our two nerdy twin brothers.”

“I’ll get the table ready,” said Mabel as she grabbed her shopping bags and ran towards the front door of the shack.

Stan gleamed with pride to know he had made the most of today. A day where he thought he’d be spending it on the couch, pondering at his family in self destruct mode. But hanging out with Mabel had reminded him that while things may not be looking right just now, there still was a chance that things would end up going the way he hoped.

After all, the summer was not over yet.


	9. Story 8: Rainy day for Golf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: When a rainy day ruins their plans, Dipper and Mabel try to make the most of the situation by having some fun indoors.

Dipper and Mabel, were eagerly finishing up their breakfast. Today was going to be an exciting day. They were both planning on going out on an adventure into the forest to look for monsters.

“You see Mabel, the barf fairy can easily be found from the smell of its barf. According to the journal, it’s supposed to smell like rotten berries and two-day old egg salad,” said Dipper.

“Oh please, I’m used to smelling your dirty laundry. This should be nothing. My nose is already burning up on the inside,” said Mabel cheekily.

Dipper shrugged it off.

“You kids sure are up early,” said Stan as he walked into the room.

“Morning Grunkle Stan. Me and Dipper are just getting ready to go barf fairy hunting today,” said Mabel as Dipper nodded his head.

“Whatever that means,” said Stan, “And anyways, you probably don’t wanna go today. Weather report calls for a huge thunderstorm all afternoon.”

“What?!” yelled Dipper, “But Barf Fairies don’t come out in the rain! It makes them sicker apparently!”

“Well sorry kid, but you guys can’t go outside,” said Stan as he casually opened up the morning paper, “I promised your parents you’d both return home with as many limbs as you left with. Also, I don’t think they’d like it if one of you were burned to a crisp from being struck by lightning,”

It was an hour later. Dipper and Mabel sat on the sofa, channel surfing. The storm outside thundered violently as the rain poured down in a nonstop momentum.

“Uh, there’s nothing good on today!” said Mabel.

“Guess it’s because we spent all of yesterday watching TV. We don’t even have any snacks,” said Dipper as he lifted up the remote to switch the old Worrel TV off.

“Hold up Dipper! There’s a golf game on!” yelled Mabel as the TV landed on a golf channel.

The golfer putted his golf ball and lands a hole in one. Mabel cheered.

“Oh hey, Mabel,” said Dipper, “Remember when you won the Piedmont junior mini golf competition?”

“Oh yeah,” replied Mabel, “I spent the day before practicing on that homemade golf course you and I made in our room. I got like 6 hours of sleep that day.”

Dipper laughed, “Yeah. You’d have fallen asleep during the game if mom hadn’t given you that juice box and told you she’d take you out for ice cream if you at least participated.”

Mabel laughed back, “Mom sure does know how I work. But dad’s the one who really knows how to have fun. Remember the spontaneous water park trip and late-night pizza run?” said Mabel, “Hey. That gives me a great idea for what we can do.”

“Spontaneous pizza eating contest?” responded Dipper.

“No. But write that down for next week’s lazy Tuesday. Remember how there’s some old golf clubs in the closet in our room? How about we make our own indoor golf course? Just like how we did back then!”

Dipper smiled, “Sounds like fun. Though I barley remember what we used to build it.”

“Not to worry Dipping sauce. Mabel’s got her scrapbooks of memories to guide us,” said Mabel as she raced upstairs and returned with a scrapbook titled, “summer 2008.”

“I’ll coordinate the build, you do the building and we’ll both work to get all the pieces,” she said.

“Sounds like a plan. Though, I’m looking at this photo and seeing a lot of things that for sure aren’t in the Mystery Shack,” said Dipper.

“Improvise I guess,” replied Mabel. “First off, we need a cup.”

Dipper raced off into the kitchen while Mabel went into the gift shop to look for something. The two then met back up in the attic.

“Well, I couldn’t find any cups that aren’t made of glass except for this one. But I did find a bunch of meat cans. I think Grunkle Stan might be one of those apocalypse prepper type people we see on the Graphic Geo-National channel,” said Dipper.

Mabel laughed, “Those people are so paranoid. Kind of like you when you thought there was a ghost eating all your sugar chestnuts. Anyways, I couldn’t find anything in the gift shop except for this mystery box, a diving helmet, a fake human skull, and an alligator head,” said Mabel as she showed Dipper the items behind her.

“Question, why does Grunkle Stan have a fake human skull and alligator head?” asked Dipper.

“I’d be more suspicious about the diving helmet,” said Mabel as she put it on. “Oh hey, there’s some warning about lead in here. Cool!”

Dipper took the helmet off his sister and threw it to the side.

“Right, what’s next?” he asked.

Mabel looked through her scrapbook, “Next, we need some pipes to use as guiding things,” said Mabel.

Dipper looked at the photo,” I don’t think we have pipes like that laying around. But what about toilet paper rolls? We could just cut them in half and use them instead,” he offered.

Mabel pondered, “Those might just work. I mean, I wouldn’t know given I was always asleep in science class,” she said with a laugh.

Mabel looked in the bathroom while Dipper looked through the garbage and recycling bin. Eventually the two returned with a bunch of used rolls. Dipper cut them up while Mabel went looking for more things. She returned with some rulers and small flags.

“Where’d you get those flags from?” asked Dipper.

“They were just laying outside in front of the shack. Though, I wonder why they say gas line and electrical wires below on them?” said Mabel as she wrote the words hole and whatever number hole it was, on them, and then taped them to Dipper’s pencils and pens.

An hour later, the mini golf course had begun to take shape.

“Dipper, explain to me why one of the holes is one of Grunkle Stan’s ship models?” asked Mabel.

“It’s for the aesthetic! And besides, care to explain to me why my dirty laundry is a hole?” he fired back.

“Well, if you’re not going to pick it up, why not put some other use to it!” replied Mabel.

“Wait! We don’t have any balls! What are we going to use for balls?” asked Dipper.

Mabel began laughing!

“Yeah, yeah, how mature of you Mabel. But seriously, what do we use for balls?” he asked.

“We could use these eyeballs from Grunkle Stan’s eyes in a jar display?” said Mabel.

“Isn’t that a bit weird?” asked Dipper.

“Have any alternative ideas,” said Mabel.

“Eyeballs it is,” he replied.

The two looked at the golf course in awe. It reminded them a lot of the one they made as kids. But with a lot of weirder holes this time. From a hole made out of an old diving helmet made of lead to a can of brown meat. Dipper even added in one of Stan’s old fans in as a hole.

“It’s still missing something,” said Mabel as she looked at her scrapbook.

“What else could be missing?” asked Dipper.

Mabel then snapped her fingers, “That’s it!” She ran downstairs.

Dipper sat there for a few minutes talking to Waddles.

“So…Waddles? Does my dirty laundry bother you?” he asked.

Waddles picked up one of Dipper’s dirty socks and started chewing on it.

“I’m gonna take that as a no,” he said.

Mabel then returned. Dipper watched as she put the things she got on her bed and started setting them up.

“Uh…Mabel? Where did you get that?” he asked.

“Oh, Grunkle Stan had all these Swiss postcards in the gift shop for some reason. I’m just adding them to make the place look a bit more like the alps,” she said.

“Uh…okay. But do you mind explaining where you got the two-foot-tall Eiffel tower model from?” He pointed to the model standing on a box next to his bed.

“Oh. Grunkle Stan had that in his office for some reason. Also, it kind of reminded me of that one French teacher from school,” said Mabel.

“Mrs. Beaumont?” said Dipper.

“No, Mr. Paris!” said Mabel.

“Don’t you think Grunkle Stan will notice that you took his giant Eiffel Tower?” asked Dipper.

Mabel began to think.

* * *

“Hey! Who took my Swiss postcards that I stole from a Swiss tourist?” he yelled.

“Also, where’s my lead diving helmet?”

As he walked into his office, he was left flabbergasted again.

“What happened to my vintage eighties disco fan?!” he yelled as he stared at the spot where his missing fan used to be.

“And great googly moogly! Where’s my model of the USS Big Mast and Copper Eiffel Tower?!”

“Wait, why would I have those things to begin with? I’ve never even gone to France?”

* * *

“Eh. I’m sure he won’t notice,” said Mabel “He hasn’t wondered where the ship model you took went. We’ll be fine!”

They began the game. Dipper would take a go and then Mabel would. The two kept going back and forth for hours. They didn’t even notice that it had stopped raining the moment they began their game.

A few hours later, the two had another game of rock, paper, scissors to see who would go next. Mabel won.

She aimed her eyeball, focused, and putted. It went straight into the cup.

“Hwaah! Total domination! I am the master of Attic Stuff Mini-golf! From the mighty Swiss Alps! To the badlands of Dipper's old laundry where man fears to tread!” she said in her excitement.

Dipper walked up, “alright, let a pro on the field, or floor. Whatever,” he said.

Dipper aimed, focused and shoots. But he hit the ball too hard, and it started flying around the room. It then flew straight out of the window.

Outside, Stan had arrived to look for his missing Eiffel Tower model.

“Well, there’s nothing here. I’ll try down stairs in Ford’s…what’s that?” said Stan as he heard the sound of breaking glass.

He looked up to see an incoming ballistic eyeball crash right into his head.

“Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!” he yelled.

And the rest they say, is history.

 


	10. Story 9: The Old Lady on Parpan Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: When Dipper and Mabel are sent out to sell several of Grunkle Stan's excess Bobbleheads, they come across an old lady who has a very dark and very creepy obsession with dolls. Inspired by an ACTUAL scrapped episode idea for Gravity Falls that also was nearly part of the Real life Journal 3.

“Come on Mabel, we’re almost there!” yelled Dipper.

“I’m coming! Ugh…these Stan bobbleheads are ridiculously heavy!” she yelled back, dragging the bag behind her.

Earlier in the year, Stan had ordered a couple of Mr. Mystery bobbleheads for the shack from a new seller. But by accident, they had delivered 50,000 bobble heads all at once rather than the 5 test ones Stan had asked for. With a surplus of merchandise and the company having a no refund policy (of which Dipper called a taste of Stan’s own medicine), he had ordered Dipper and Mabel to go around town to try and sell as many of the bobbleheads as they could. Even threaten customers if need be.

Now, after multiple attempts to sell the merchandise (and a few lawsuits being threatened), the twins were approaching the last potential customer, a small old house at the end of Parpan Place. A street best described by Mabel as, “a scene out of a generic Hollywood horror movie!” Abandoned houses lay all around as they reached the front door of the one remaining inhabited house.

“You knock,” said Mabel.

“What?! Why me?” asked Dipper.

“Because, you’re closer to the door, and I’m tired from carrying all these bobbleheads. I told you we should have stopped for lunch! There was a great two for five sale on burgers at Greasy’s diner today!” said Mabel as she sat down on the curb, “And you know how much I like eating Dip.”

Dipper rolled his eyes and knocked the door. There was no response.

“Looks like no one’s home. You sure this is the right address?” asked Mabel.

“Definitely. See, one eight six, Parpan Place,” said Dipper as he pointed to the house on the map.

Mabel got up and knocked the door again, but harder. After a few seconds, there was still no response.

“Guess it’s abandoned too,” she said.

As Mabel opened up a pack of raw sugar to tie her hunger over, the door swung wide open. An old lady, no taller than Soos’s Abuelita stood there.

“Oh my, aren’t you both the most precious looking things ever,” she said, “What can I do for you both? Let me guess, Girl’s Scout’s cookies? In that case…”

“Oh no ma’am, we’re not girl’s scouts. And by the way, that’s my brother,” said Mabel mockingly.

Dipper frowned.

“Oh, pardon me dear,” said the old lady, “So, what can I do for you instead?”

“Well, me and my brother Dipper here are trying to sell some of these bobbleheads and we were wondering if you’re interested in buying one?” said Mabel as she pulled one out of her bag.

“I know they’re really creepy but we’re a bit desperate for someone to buy them,” said Dipper.

He expected the lady to say no or politely turn down the offer. Instead…

“Oh, more precious babies for my collection! How lovely! I’ll take some off your hands, dear!” said the lady.

Dipper felt an uneasiness in his stomach the moment she said that.

He pushed Mabel to the side as he gestured to the lady he’d be right back!

“I don’t know about this Mabel,” he said, “I think we should make a run for it.”

“Dipper, are you crazy? She just said she was gonna buy a lot of them!” argued Mabel.

“But…didn’t the precious babies part freak you out just a little bit?” said Dipper.

“Well…maybe she’s just a doll collector. Kind of like how some people are with stamps or rocks. And besides, what other choice do we have? Remember what Grunkle Stan told us?” said Mabel.

“If we can’t sell even a single one, we’ll have to work in the gift shop for the rest of the summer to help him pay it off. Yes, I know! But come on!” said Dipper.

“Dipper,” said Mabel “Would you rather be outside, fighting with a monster? Or inside, fighting with a broom?”

“Uh…okay fine!” he said, “But at the first sight of trouble, we bail! Even if we have to ditch the bobbles.”

Mabel nodded her head. The two then turned around to face the lady.

“You got yourself a deal woman!” said Mabel. “That’ll be fifteen bucks plus tax! No refunds!”

“Splendid,” she said “Though I did leave my wallet inside. How about you both come in for a cup of tea and cookies while I go fetch it?”

Major red flags were going off in Dipper’s head. But at the same time, he didn’t want to spend the rest of the summer working in the Mystery Shack when he still had to find out who the author of the journals was! And besides, what could be so bad about an old lady who was willing to take a few creepy Stan bobbleheads off their hands.

As the two walked inside, they were met with many, many, MANY dolls. As far as the eye could see.

“Wow, you have so many dolls here,” said Mabel.

“Indeed, I do dear. I do enjoy collecting them all,” she said.

“Oh really?” questioned Mabel. “Do you have the Darbie dolls?”

“Of course. Even the limited-edition ones and all the Ben dolls that go with her.”

“How about British Girl dolls?”

“Got them all too!”

“My not so Little Ponies?”

“From both versions of the show!”

“Cauliflower kids?”

“Them too!”

Each time Mabel named a doll type or brand, the lady would reply with a yes. And to Mabel’s shock, she’d see those dolls sitting on a shelf. She even saw some dolls that weren’t even sold in America.

“Wow…you really do like dolls,” said Dipper.

“Collecting them all is my hobby. But alas, once you have every single type of doll in the world, you start running out of more to collect,” said the lady.

“Well, there always will be more dolls in the future. Kind of like how there always will be more weird flavored jellybeans,” said Mabel.

“I guess. But none until the fall as far as I know of. Now, you two wait here while I go get my wallet. Tea’s ready for you on the coffee table,” said the lady as she walked away.

“Oh good,” said Mabel, “I haven’t eaten anything since this morning and if I don’t get any sugar in my system soon, I’m gonna be half the Mabel I am now.”

The twins got comfy onto a couch covered in dolls. At that moment, the two looked at a shelf at the end of the room. There on it were several dolls Mabel had in her room, a talking Stan doll and even Bear-O. But what struck them the most was that in the middle, lay the most realistic life-sized Gideon doll they’d both ever seen.

“Okay…now that’s creepy!” said Mabel in disgust.

“Alright children, tell me, how much do I owe you again?” said the old lady as she returned with her purse.

“Well, that depends, how many you want?” said Mabel as she picked up her cup of tea. “Do you think I could get some more sugar? I like sugar my tea like you like your dolls, in big quantities.”

“Sure thing dear,” said the lady as she began putting a white powder labelled sugar into Mabel’s tea.

“I sure wish I could help you out with your doll problem. But there just isn’t a single doll here that I don’t already have or know about,” said Mabel.

“Oh, I know you will my dear…I mean…these bobbleheads will do nicely till then,” the lady said.

Dipper was completely zoned out from the conversation. He kept looking around the living room when all of a sudden, he swore he saw the Gideon doll start shaking and sweating.

A chill ran down his spine at the sight. It really was as creepy as the real Gideon.

Too real!

It then hit him. He quickly turned his head to see Mabel lifting the tea cup to drink from it. The white powder lay nearby.

“Mabel no!” he yelled as he ran across the room and knocked the cup out of Mabel’s hands.

The tea went flying straight onto the carpet. Before Mabel could respond, the old lady lunged right at Dipper and pinned him to the ground!

“Ahh! Get off me you lunatic!” he yelled.

The lady grabbed the teapot and began pouring the tea onto Dipper in an attempt to get him to drink it. Luckily for him, it had cooled by then.

“Come on!” she yelled, “Drink some already! I don’t like my dolls to have tea stains on their clothes!”

Mabel looked on, effectively paralyzed with shock and fear!

“Mabel!” yelled Dipper. “Listen to me! That Gideon doll is not a doll! It’s the real Gideon! She put something-”

Tea started falling onto his face.

Dipper coughed, “…she put something in the tea that’s paralyzed him!”

Mabel looked up to the Gideon doll. She watched as it fell onto the floor and one of the button eyes flew out, revealing the very real, and very terrified looking eye of Gideon. The REAL Gideon!

“What do I do?” she yelled.

“Well first, get her off of me!” yelled Dipper.

Mabel looked around the room for something to fight with.

Just then, Dipper managed to knock the teapot out of the old lady’s hands and before she could grab it again…Mabel knocked her out with an oversized sock monkey. The lady fell to the ground unconscious. But not before Mabel put the sock monkey under her head to lighten the impact.

“Dipper! Are you okay?!” she yelled as she ran towards him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, “Just covered in tea. Now I’ll actually have to do laundry. How nice.”

The two of them looked around and thought about what to do.

“Well, we have to go tell the cops about this. If we leave her here, she’ll just lure someone else in. I can only suspect how she got Gideon here!” said Dipper.

“Yeah. Hold that thought,” said Mabel as she ran off into the kitchen.

Dipper found a basket in which to put Gideon, who by now had fallen asleep, into. Mabel then returned with some cookies in her hands and stuffed in her mouth.

“Really?” said Dipper.

“Hey, you didn’t let me eat burgers at Greasy’s so I was basically starving here. Plus, I’m not gonna let free cookies go to waste. And besides, I saw her eat them as well so they’re fine,” said Mabel. “You know, this whole thing is like that one fairy tale?”

“Goldilocks?” said Dipper.

“No, Hansel and Gretel,” said Mabel, “You know, two twins find an old lady in a house in the woods. She tries to capture them but the twins stop her and then eat her house and rob her jewels!”

“Our life is not a fairy tale Mabel!” said Dipper. “I’d say more so like some weird cartoon made by a half drunk and half tired mad man with a beard.”

“That’s oddly specific,” said Mabel.

 “Yeah,” he said. “Also, we’re not robbing anything or eating this house! It’s all dusty, smells like old doll clothes and I think there’s even asbestos in the air!”

“Fine!” said Mabel as she stuffed a whole cookie into her mouth and then the rest into her pockets.

The two then lifted the basket up and carried Gideon back home (they decided to just let him off the hook for now, even though they both wanted to just dump him into the river as revenge). Before heading back home themselves, the two of them went to the Gravity Falls police station and dragged Blubs and Durland over to the house of the old lady. But it had vanished by then!

“Uh Dipper…you sure we have the right street,” asked Mabel, as she pointed to a sign reading Parapee street.

Dipper facepalmed and they walked over to the other street. Sure enough, there was the house and soon after, Blubs and Durland arrested the old lady (though the twins decided to not lay any charges other than for Dipper’s dry-cleaning bill).

* * *

 

On the way home, the mood was quite discouraging.

“Well, this sucks,” said Mabel. “We spent the whole day trying to sell these stupid bobbleheads, and the only person who even showed a bit of interest in buying them turned out to be a psycho doll collecting witch!”

“Looks like it’s goodbye mysteries for me, and hello dusting the floors for the rest of the summer instead,” said Dipper with a sigh.

But as the two entered into the gift shop, to their shock, all the bobble heads were gone!

“Wha…where did all the bobbleheads go?” said Mabel.

“Oh, funny story about that kids,” said Stan as he walked in. “Turns out, trying to sell fifty thousand bobbleheads is hard. But trying to sell fifty thousand pieces of firewood that look like bobbleheads is much easier. I just sold the last box to some teenagers going out for a bonfire a few minutes ago. I threw in some cold ones too. To sweeten the deal if you know what I mean,” he said with a wink.

The twin’s jaws dropped open.

“On the plus side, I do have some Mr. Mystery dolls coming in this Friday.”

“Nope! I’m done,” said Dipper as he dropped his bag of bobbleheads onto the floor and went upstairs.

“What’s wrong with him?” asked Stan.

“Long story,” said Mabel.

“Okay then,” replied Stan in a confused tone. “So, you wanna burn the last of these bobbleheads over a cup of tea Mabel?”

“Uh…I think I’ll pass!” she said as she dropped her bag and ran off upstairs.

“Huh…kids these days,” said Stan as he took a sip of his tea.

 


	11. Story 10: Stan’s Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Dipper and Mabel try to teach Grunkle Stan how to cook better in an attempt to avoid eating out for the rest of the summer. But things get a a bit, "heated."

It was afternoon in Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Stan walked in soon after.

“Alright kids, it’s almost dinner,” he said “So, what’ll it be?”

He handed the kids multiple coupons and pamphlets. They both moaned.

“Really Grunkle Stan, again with the takeout?” said Mabel.

“Oh, come on Mabel. You love it when we go to Pizza Duplex,” said Stan.

“We went there only two days ago! Even their pizza can get tiring after the fifth trip!”

“Okay fine,” said Stan, “No Pizza. How about some steaks over at Giant Grill?”

“We only just went there on Sunday!” said Dipper.

“So?”

“Grunkle Stan! It’s Tuesday!”

Stan sighed, “Okay fine! How about Tacos from-”

“No!” screamed both twins.

“Yeah. After last time, I’m not in the mood for that either,” said Stan, “But then, I can’t leave you both starving. Apparently, you can go to jail for doing that to kids.”

“Grunkle Stan, don’t you think we may be tired of all this fast food?” said Dipper.

“Really?” said Stan, “Of all people, you? I thought kids would be the ones who always want to eat out? Is it opposites day or something?”

“It’s not that Grunkle Stan,” said Mabel, “Whenever mom and dad take us out to eat, we’re both excited. But unlike you, they do it on occasions. Not like with you taking us out every night.”

“Mabel’s got a point Grunkle Stan,” said Dipper, “Why not try cooking dinner yourself for once?”

Stan shudders, “Oh, well, uh…you kids sure you don’t want to eat over at Greasy’s? I bet lazy Susan will give us a discount if we hurry.”

The twins were not buying it.

“Come on Grunkle Stan, come clean,” said Dipper, “Why do you keep taking us out for dinner every night?”

“I…I…I…”

“I what? Can’t cook?” yelled Dipper.

“Yes,” said Stan with a sigh, “I can’t cook dinners!”

The twins gasped.

“I can cook you kids breakfast. My Stancakes always are a hit with you guys, right?” he asked.

“Eh,” says Mabel, “I usually just give mine to Waddles. That and your Stan toast as well.”

“You see?!” yelled Stan, “I can’t even cook you kids a good breakfast! Better to just let you eat out every night rather than let you starve. Speaking of that, if your parents start asking why you’re both looking a bit chunkier than when you left…just say that the salads I made were high in carbs!”

“Grunkle Stan, you should have told us that,” said Mabel, “Don’t worry, me and Dipper are going to help you learn how to cook!”

“We are?” said Dipper.

Mabel gave him a little punch.

“Oh yes. Yes, we are,” he replied.

Stan smiled a bit. He really wanted to make sure Dipper and Mabel are well taken care of while they were in his hands, and if learning to cook was one way he could do that, then he was willing to give it a try.

* * *

“Alright Grunkle Stan,” said Mabel, “We’re going to start simple with a small roasted chicken.”

“Okay, uh…how does it work?” he asked.

“First off you have to cover it in butter so that it cooks correctly. Mom always does it that way at home,” said Dipper.

“And you kids were complaining about eating unhealthy,” said Stan as he rolled his eyes.

After buttering the chicken up, he threw it into the oven.

“Now Grunkle Stan, it’s important you set the temperature to exactly a hundred and sixty-five degrees!” said Mabel.

Nervously, Stan moved the knob on the stove and set it to one hundred and sixty-five.

“Now, we just have to wait a few minutes and then we can eat it,” said Dipper.

The three head into the living room to wait.

Not even 10 minutes later, the fire department is at the shack putting the kitchen out.

“You set it to a hundred and sixty-five degrees Celsius!” yelled Dipper.

“Hey, I got that stove from a mob boss I knew from my days in Canada! So sorry for not being backwards like you guys!” he yelled.

Dipper pulled Mabel aside as Stan went to yell at the insurance agent.

“I don’t know about this Mabel,” he said, “Maybe we should just let Stan take us out to eat for the rest of the summer. We can just hike off those extra calories while monster hunting.”

“Come on Dipper, can’t we try again?” said Mabel, “Maybe tomorrow, you try to teach him how to cook some of mom’s French toast. I sure do miss them.”

Dipper pondered for a second, “Okay fine. But only because I miss mom’s French toast even more than you do! And you’re replacing my clothes if they burn off again!” he said.

“Given they smell like our middle school change rooms, I’ll gladly replace them all!” replied Mabel.

* * *

The next morning Mabel ran off to have breakfast with Candy and Grenda, leaving Dipper to teach Stan alone.

“Alright Grunkle Stan,” said Dipper, “Now I know things didn’t go well the last time…”

“Well?” yelled Stan, “My foreign stove got burned! Don’t worry, I bought one in Fahrenheit this time!”

Dipper rolled his eyes, “So, I’m gonna teach you how to make our mom’s French toast. It’s such a simple recipe that even you could learn it.”

“Okay then,” said Stan, “You know, if you really want French toast, I can just order some.”

“Relax Grunkle Stan, this is easy. Look, I already made the batter. All you need to do is dip the toast in. Mom always uses white bread because it works better in her recipe.”

“But then why did you cut the crust off the bread?” asked Stan.

“Oh…uh…Mabel hates the crust!” said Dipper, “Yeah…Mabel.”

“You sure it’s not you?” said Stan. “Because I always see you breaking the crust off your-”

“Never mind!” yelled Dipper, “Anyways, just dip them into the batter and then put them onto the cooking pan.”

Stan does as Dipper said and batters up the bread. Once it was all spongey, he plopped it onto the pan and the two watched as the toast turned a well cooked golden brown. Stan then put it onto the plate nearby.

“Yup, just like how mom makes them,” said Dipper.

“Really?”

“No. But it’s very close. Nice job Grunkle Stan,” said Dipper with a smile, “Now, try making the next one on your own while I go rub it in Mabel’s face.”

Dipper left to go call Mabel, leaving Stan alone in the kitchen to make something he only just learned. What could possibly go wrong?

As it turned out, A LOT. Mabel returned to find the fire department at the shack yet again, and Dipper and Stan outside.

“Okay, what happened this time?”

“Ask Mr. I’m gonna rub this in your face,” said Stan as he pointed to Dipper.

“Me? You’re the one who left the stove unattended to go to the bathroom!” yelled Dipper.

“Well, you should have known I needed to go!” yelled Stan, “I’m not young like you!”

“Okay, enough!” yelled Mabel, “Maybe it’s time I took a crack at this?”

“Mabel, don’t you think that’s a bad idea?” said Dipper, “I say we go back to the old ways. So. what if this is the summer of fast food?” 

“Not yet Dipper!” yelled Mabel, “Because I’m gonna teach Grunkle Stan to cook the simplest dish known to man! One not even he can screw up!”

* * *

The next day, Mabel stationed Dipper outside the kitchen with a fire extinguisher as she took the lead.

“A pizza?”

“Yes,” said Mabel, “A pizza. This is a very simple process. Dad taught me how to make pizza back when I was eight. Probably because I’m his favourite!”

“Hey!” yelled Dipper.

“You sure about this?” said Stan, “What if I mess it up again?”

“You won’t,” said Mabel, “No one can mess up a pizza!”

After teaching Stan how to put toppings on the it, Mabel then showed him how to properly time it and then how hot the oven should be.

“About 450 degrees…Fahrenheit!” she yelled, “For about 15 minutes.”

“I hope this works,” said Stan.

“Trust me, it will.”

Just then, the stove burst into flames.

“What?!” yelled Mabel, “How’s that even possible?!”

“Oh, did forget to mention that I bought a gas stove this time?” said Stan.

“Uh…yeah!” yelled Mabel, “That might have been a good thing to mention earlier! Dipper!”

Dipper ran in with the fire extinguisher and tried to douse the flames. But nothing came out. He then looked at the expiration date.

“Grunkle Stan this thing expired in 1998!” he yelled!

“Wait, fire extinguishers expire?” said Stan.

“Of course, they do!” yelled Dipper, “Ahh, just call the fire department again!”

* * *

Once again, the fire department arrived to put the flames out.

“Well Grunkle Stan, you managed to start a fire…while cooking a pizza!” yelled Mabel.

“And this is why I don’t cook,” he replied.

“Well, looks like it’s back to takeout for the rest of the summer,” said Dipper.

“Oh, come Dipper, it’s not that bad. I kind of missed it to be honest,” said Mabel, “Eating vegetables at Candy’s was making me sick anyways.”

Stan looked on as the two walked back into the shack. He felt awful that he couldn’t even cook a simple pizza correctly for them. He decided it was time to get serious about this. Once the fire department left, he went to his office and made a phone call.

The next morning, as Dipper and Mabel walked into the kitchen, the were presented with the most incredible sight. The table was full of all sorts of dishes. Sandwiches, roasted chicken, French toast, even a pizza. And it was all home made looking. Mabel then noticed Stan washing up dishes in the sink.

“Grunkle Stan?” she said, “Did…did you make all of this?”

“Oh, morning kids,” he said, “Yes I did. I felt bad about not being able to cook anything even after how much you both tried to teach me. So, last night I got serious about it, read through a few cook books, and finally succeeded.”

Dipper took a bite of the French toast, “Oh my goodness, it’s just like how mom makes them!” he yelled.

Mabel tried the pizza, “It’s just like dads,” she said, “Nice job, Grunkle Stan.”

The twins gave him a hug.

“Well, what are you both waiting for?” he said, “dig in!”

The three sat down to eat, when Dipper and Mabel both notice something. Mabel then looked to Stan.

“Hey, where’s the mashed potatoes?”

Stan began to get nervous, “oh, uh…well…I uh-”

“It’s okay Mabel. I’m sure Grunkle Stan can make some for us,” said Dipper, “Right Grunkle Stan?”

“Oh, well…uh…I don’t know about-”

“Oh, come on Grunkle Stan. We believe in you,” said Mabel as Dipper nodded his head.

Stan got up with a sigh, “Okay then. Let’s do this!”

* * *

Not even 15 minutes later, they’re all outside as the fire department is back once again to put out the kitchen.

“Okay kids, I got a confession to make. I-”

“You got Lazy Susan to make all that food for us and then you tried to pose it off as your own cooking,” said Dipper, interrupting him.

“How…how did you know?” said Stan.

“Well, you forgot to throw away the packaging it came in which we saw in the garbage,” said Mabel.

“And also, I found the receipt she gave you on the table,” said Dipper as he handed it over to him.

“I’m sorry you two. I wanted to try and learn for you both. But it looks like I failed again.”

The twins hugged him.

“It’s okay Grunkle Stan,” said Mabel, “At least you tried. And to be honest, your Stancakes are not that bad actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Dipper, “But next time, don’t lie to us that you made something when you just got someone else to do it. You’ve taken us to every restaurant in Gravity Falls so we know when it’s not your cooking.”

“I promise,” said Stan with a smile, “So, you guys don’t mind if we just keep going out to eat for the rest of the summer?”

“It’s fine,” said Mabel, “I was actually starting to miss those Pizza’s from Pizza Duplex.”

“How about we go get some right now, given all the food I did get got burned?” offered Stan.

The twins nod.

“But this time, we’re walking there and back!” said Dipper.

“Eh, fair enough I guess,” replied Stan.

“See you there,” said Mabel as she started to run off.

Stan and Dipper followed behind her.

The twins may not have succeeded in teaching Stan how to cook more, but they did at least teach him that fire extinguishers expire.

And on the way back, they bought him a new one.

Some ending huh?

 


	12. Story 11: Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Grunkle Stan sets up a new money making scheme, he sends Dipper and Mabel out on a hunt to find something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

“Soos, handle that white gown with care!” yelled Stan, “It’s made of linin! Or is it linen?”

“Woah Grunkle Stan,” said Dipper, “Are you planning a wedding again?”

“What, no!” he yelled, “Apparently, a lot of newly weds drive by here on their honeymoons and I wanted to give the shack a more wedding type feel.”

“Did someone say wedding?!” yelled Mabel as she bolted into the gift shop from the living room like she was on a sugar rush.

“False flag Mabel,” said Dipper, “Just another one of Grunkle Stan’s money-making schemes.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Stan as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a list, “I need you kids to go into town and find these things.”

Dipper looked at the list, “Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue? Grunkle Stan, what’s all this?”

“Well apparently, this is from some old poem about weddings and if I wanna have good luck or something, I need those items,” he said.

“But Grunkle Stan, you already have something old,” said Mabel as she lifted up a mirror to him.

Stan rolled his eyes as Dipper and Mabel laughed.

“Alright, just for that, I’m giving you both until this evening to find all those things or you’re both on bathroom duty!”

The twins quivered in disgust before leaving to find the items on Stan’s list as they didn’t want to clean the bathrooms.

“So, where will we find something old?” asked Mabel.

“Mabel, we’re in a town that still doesn’t have wi-fi in every building,” said Dipper, “It’s not a matter of if there’s something old here, it’s what do we want to take?”

“Hey, I found an old car in the woods once,” said Mabel, “Would that work?”

“That’s too heavy,” said Dipper, “Hang on, there was that old bucket from Pioneer’s day that someone left behind the water tower. We could use that.”

The twins ran off to the water tower where the bucket lay. Mabel then inspected it.

“Nope. No made in China labels,” she said.

“Perfect, then it must be old,” said Dipper, “Next, we need to find something new. Well that’ll be tough.”

“Not exactly,” said Mabel, “We can just go to the mall and buy something.”

“But according to the rules, we can’t buy the things. It’s all things we must find ourselves,” said Dipper.

“Ah poop,” said Mabel as she put the bucket on her head.

“Wait, Wendy told me that her brother just broke his brand-new phone. The rules said the thing has to be new but nothing about it being broken,” said Dipper.

“Given this bucket on my head has holes in it and could never hold water, or…eww, you do not wanna know what this bucket used to hold, but I think you get my point,” said Mabel.

“Great. Now come on,” said Dipper as he began to run to Wendy’s house.

Mabel, ran in the opposite direction with the bucket on her head and crashed right into one of the water tower legs.

“Oh, and take that bucket off your head,” yelled Dipper.

“Gladly!”

Once Mabel was back on her feet, the twins raced to Wendy’s house where her brother gladly let them have his broken new phone in exchange for them (and Wendy) to stay quiet about it.

“So, let me guess,” said Wendy, “Mr. Pines has some new money-making scheme which is why you needed that phone?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Dipper, “How did you know?”

“Soos texted me to remind me to bring my mom’s old wedding dress down tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I know why,” she replied.

“Say, Wendy,” said Mabel, “By any chance do you have anything we can borrow?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s for this weird scavenger hunt Grunkle Stan has us on,” replied Mabel as she showed her the list.

“Pfft, wedding stuff is so lame,” said Wendy, “Romance itself to be honest. Do you guys even know what people do to TV show characters nowadays?”

The twins shook their heads.

“Take my advice, never join Umblr,” said Wendy.

“Noted!” said Dipper. Mabel meanwhile proceeded to write the website name down in her notebook for later.

“And to answer your question, not really. I mean, my home is more of a lumbermill than a wedding hall.”

“Hey Dipper?” said Mabel, “I got an idea.”

Before Dipper could reply, Mabel took his hat off.

“Hey!” he yelled.

“You mind if I borrow this?” she asked.

Dipper was about to yell no but with Wendy around he decided to keep his cool.

“Yeah sure. If it gets us closer to finishing this pointless chapter in our lives,” he replied.

* * *

Asleep in his apartment in California, Alex Hirsch awakes with a fright. He grabs his phone.

“Hey, Dana?” he says, “It’s Alex. You won’t believe the dream I just had! Dipper was talking as if he knew he was in a TV show!”

“No! I wasn’t snooping around on Tumblr again!”

* * *

Dipper and Mabel left Wendy’s house. But rather than his hat, Wendy let them borrow one of her mom’s old T-shirts.

“Wow, I didn’t think Wendy’s mom went to rock concerts?” said Dipper.

“I’ve always wanted to ask her about her,” said Mabel, “Maybe one day.”

“Okay, now it says we need something blue.” “And no, not my hat again,” said Dipper.

“Whatever,” said Mabel, “Your hat smelled awful anyways. I’m pretty sure newly weds wouldn’t even get close to you if they could smell it. Take my advice bro and wash your hair!”

Dipper rolled his eyes as the two returned back into town. Eventually they stopped for some lunch at a small espresso shop.

“How are you able to drink coffee Mabel?” asked Dipper as he took a sip of his hot chocolate.

“You get used to it after the fifth cup,” she replied, “Also I put way more sugar in mine than normal people do so that might also explain why IgetalljumpyandcrazywhenIdrinkcoffeeandOMGthisisgood!”

Dipper tapped Mabel on her shoulder to calm her down.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Now what are we going to do about finding that blue thing?”

“Oh, simple. I already did,” said Mabel as she pulled out a blue feather.

Dipper gasped, “Is…is that a-”

“Yes, it is a bluebird feather,” said Mabel, “I found it while you were ordering our drinks. Thank me later.”

Dipper’s jaw was left wide open, “We have all the items! Do you know what that means Mabel?”

“We…get to finally sit on the big red chair and figure out why Grunkle Stan made us go on this goose chase?”

“Uh…no,” said Dipper, “It means we can finally go back home!”

The two high fived and after Mabel ordered yet another cup of coffee, the two raced back to the Mystery Shack.

“Oh hey, Dipper,” said Mabel, “There’s something I forgot to tell you about that feather.”

“Wait up Mabel!” yelled Dipper, “Wait until we get back to the sha-”

Dipper stopped dead in his tracks. In front of the two of them was an army of bluebirds. And they looked mad.

“Uh…Mabel,” said Dipper, “When you took that feather, did you pluck it off a bluebird?”

“Whaaat?” said Mabel laughing, “Don’t be ridicu…yes, I did.”

“Mabel!” yelled Dipper, “You know I warned you about Gravity Falls bluebirds! Unless a feather naturally falls off one, you do not _ever_ try to get one from them yourself!”

“Remind me again why.”

The bird then turned around and aimed for the twins. One of them fired right at Dipper but just missed.

“That’s why!” he said in a fearful tone “They can weaponize their poo.”

The birds got ready to fire again.

“Run for it!”

The twins began to run as the flock of birds chased after them. One by one, giant stink bombs rained around them.

“Ahh!” yelled Mabel, “What the heck do these birds eat?!”

She then noticed one bird was about to drop one on Dipper. Using her instincts, she quickly lifted the bucket over Dipper’s head. The bucket then saved Dipper from being hit.

“Ahhh!” he yelled, “Have I been hit?!”

“No!” yelled Mabel, “The bucket saved you! Remember when I said it was not used for water collection?”

“Oh no, does that mean it was used for…”

“Yes, it was. And when we get home, I call first dibs on the shower!”

“Not unless these birds get us! Then I call first dibs!”

The two raced as fast as they could as the birds chased them, dumping their foul ammo wherever they went. Soon Dipper and Mabel reached the shack. In the panic, they threw all the stuff they had onto the front yard and ran into the shack without looking back.

“Oh man,” said Mabel as she gasped for air, “That was close.”

“You tell me,” said Dipper, “I swear, if I ran that fast during gym, I think I’d not be the first one out during the beep test.”

Mabel laughed as she downed a bottle of water from the cooler, “Yeah. I know mom and dad sent us here to be more active. But that was ridiculous.” She then gave Dipper the bottle.

“What on Earth is going on here?” said Stan as he walked in, “Hot Belgian Waffles, you two look like you just ran a marathon to Tibet and back!”

“It was…it was…the birds, Grunkle Stan,” said Dipper as he still gasped for air, “The! Birds!”

“What birds?” he replied, as he looked out the door window, “Hey? Is that the stuff you got me?”

Mabel nodded.

“Then why is it outside?”

Stan started for the door but the twins both held him back.

“Don’t Grunkle Stan!” yelled Mabel, “They’ll get you!”

“Who?”

“The Birds!” yelled Dipper.

“Ah, give it a break you two. It’s just some birds.”

Stan walked out while Dipper and Mabel still begged him to come back inside. They watched helplessly as Stan picked up the items. Including the feather.

“You two are such scaredy cats,” he said laughing, “There’s nothing to worry abou-”

Before Stan could finish looking up, the attack began. Dipper covered Mabel’s eyes to spare her from witnessing the horrors unfolding outside. Stan’s screaming made the two of them quiver.

Soon he re-entered the shack, his suit was now no longer black.

“Uh, Grunkle Stan?” said Dipper, “Are you ok-”

“Not one word,” he said as she spit blue feathers out of his mouth, “If you need me, I’ll be showering until next Tuesday.”

“Hey!” yelled Mabel as Stan walked away, “I called dibs on the shower first!”

 


	13. Story 12: Steamed Hams (But it’s Stan on a Dinner Date)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the famous Simpsons scene Steamed Hams, Stan has a luncheon with Lazy Susan.

Dipper and Mabel returned to the shack one afternoon after a day out, to find Ford trying to clean the place up while Stan was in the kitchen trying to clean burn marks on the wall.

“Grunkle Stan?” said Mabel.

“Oh, uh, hey kids,” replied Stan, “I was just uh…oh never mind, how long have you both been standing there?”

“Forget us,” said Dipper, “What the heck happened here?”

“Yeah, why does the kitchen look like a coal factory?” asked Mabel.

Stan’s mind flashed back to earlier in the day. The events unfolding as if he was hearing a script being read out.

* * *

The doorbell rang and Stan walked up to open it.

“Well, Stanley, I made it…despite your directions,” said Lazy Susan.

“Ah, Lazy Susan! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!” said Stan.

“Uhh...”

Stan walked into the kitchen and to his shock, the stove was smoking. He gasped.

“Oh egads, my roast is ruined!”

He looked out of his window and spotted a nearby burger joint

“But what if…I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?” he thought, “Oh ho ho ho ho…delightfully devilish, Stanley!”

Before he could escape, Lazy Susan walked in, “Uh-”

(Start of song)

“Grunkle Stan with his crazy explanations, Lazy Susan's gonna need her medication. When she hears Stanley's lame exaggerations. There'll be trouble in town tonight!

(end of song)

“STANLEY!”

“Lazy Susan,” said Stan, “I was just, uh…just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?”

“Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Stanley?” she replied.

Stan quickly thinks up an excuse, “Uhh…no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams!”

Hearing that, Lazy Susan walked back into the living room

Stan lets out an “Ooh...” in relief. He then jumps out of the window and runs over to the nearby burger joint.

(a few moments later)

“Lazy Susan, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!” said Stan as he walked in with a plate of artery clogging fast food.

“I thought we were having steamed clams?” said Lazy Susan, truly confused by this turn of events.

“D'oh, no,” assured Stan, “I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!”

“You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"

“Yes. It's a regional dialect!”

“Uh-huh…uh,” said a skeptical Lazy Susan, “What region?”

“Uhh…upstate New York?” replied Stan out of the blue.

“Really?” she replied, “Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

“Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.”

“I see,” said Lazy Susan.

Stan looked relived; he was home free. But then the next questions began rolling in

“You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at King Burger.”

“Oh, ho ho ho…no, patented Stanley burgers. Old family recipe,” said Stan, trying to make another excuse.

“For steamed hams?” said Lazy Susan.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.”

Now Stan really was nervous.

“Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.”

“Of course,” replied Lazy Susan as Stan got up and casually walked into kitchen.

“Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped,” he said, as he walked out of the kitchen yawning.

Lazy Susan got up, “Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?” she yelled.

“Aurora borealis?”

“Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?

“Yes!” replied Stan.

“May I see it?”

“No.”

With dinner over, Lazy Susan walked out of the room and towards the exit where she looked back at Stan.

“Stanley,” yelled Ford from the kitchen, “the shack is on fire!”

“No, Ford…it's just the northern lights!”

“Well, Stanley,” said Susan, “You are an odd fellow, but I must say…you steam a good ham.”

“Help!” yelled Ford.

Lazy Susan turned back to see Stan who put his right thumb up. She turned back around and started for the diner.

“Help!” yelled Ford again. This time Stan ran back inside to help.

* * *

Stan’s train of thought ended as the twins looked at him.

“Well?” said Dipper.

“Well…let’s just say you kids missed one hell of a light show,” said Stan as he threw cleaning supplies at them.

“Now, go help Ford clean the shack while I deal with this oven!”

Still confused, Dipper and Mabel listen and went into the living room to help Ford.

“Yeesh…kids,” said Stan, “They miss one kitchen aurora borealis and suddenly you’re the one they assume burned the walls.”

 


	14. Story 13: The Most Boring Fanfic Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says, it's the most boring Gravity Falls fanfic ever...I think.

Dipper and Mabel woke up one morning in their hometown of Piedmont. It was spring break.

“Morning Dipper.”

“Morning Mabel.”

The two brushed their teeth, got changed and went downstairs.

“Huh, looks like it’s too windy outside to do anything,” said Dipper.

“Wanna just stay indoors and watch TV?” suggested Mabel.

“Sure, why not.”

The two walked over to the couch and sat down. Dipper began channel surfing.

“Oh hey, there’s a show on about different car parts,” he said as the show began.

A man walked into the screen and started talking from a list.

“Wheel, hubcap, combustion chamber, spare tire, timing belt, uh…left back seat cup holder…”

“This is boring,” said Mabel.

“Well, it’s Tuesday morning,” said Dipper, “Nothing but this and infomercials are on.”

“How about Cartoon Station?” said Mabel.

“Some preschool show on right now?”

“Mickelodeon?”

“same.”

“Disney Channel?”

“Mabel!” yelled Dipper, “Don’t break the fourth wall!”

“Oops,” she replied, “I mean, Eisney Channel?”

Dipper sighed, “Just some dumb teen sitcom that they assume is a representation of all teens.”

Mabel sighed, “I think I’m just gonna go read a book.”

“Yeah, whatever,” said Dipper, “I’m gonna go work on that model plane.”

The two spent an hour upstairs in their room doing their respective activities.

“Should I paint this dark grey or light grey?” asked Dipper.

“Try mixing both to make a medium grey,” said Mabel.

“Genius. It looks good on it.”

Dipper finished up his model and then turned his attention to Mabel.

“What’s you reading there?”

“Just a book.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really,” said Mabel, “That’s literally the name of the book!”

“Oh. So, what’s it about?”

“Just some girl who lives with her dad who’s an accountant and spends her time counting things in her house and reading her dad’s tax returns. It’s as boring as it sounds.”

“Okay.”

Dipper then looked out of the window.

“Great, now it’s raining.”

“It’s March Dipper. What do you expect?”

“Hopefully it won’t be this bad during the summer.”

“Like you’ll even care,” said Mabel, “First day of summer and you’ll be playing video games until Labor Day.”

“Oh hey, that’s a good idea. Play some video games.”

“But didn’t mom and dad ground you because you were up all night on Sunday?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Dipper.

“So, now what?” asked Mabel.

“I don’t know actually. We really do have very boring lives, don’t we?”

“Yeah. Maybe mom and dad will finally take us somewhere this year. Like maybe to see Great Uncle Stan in that town in Oregon. What’s it called again…Grubity Flu?”

“I think it’s called Gravity Falls.” Said Dipper,

“What an odd name for a town. What even does that mean?”

“I don’t know. And I also don’t know about Stan, he seems like a very shady guy.”

“Eh,” said Mabel, “Better than another summer cooped up in here.”

“I’d prefer to just stay here playing video games to be honest.”

“Well, duh…you would.”

Dipper rolled his eyes.

The two then spent the remainder of the day working on a 1,000-piece puzzle.

“You know when mom and dad get back?” asked Mabel.

“Mom’s working late today and I think dad is too,” said Dipper.

“Great, then who’s gonna feed us?”

“Mabel, we’re twelve. We can do that ourselves. How about we just make a-”

“Wanna just order a pizza using the rainy-day money?”

“Yeah, sure.”

The two then ordered a pizza, ate it and then watched some boring movie on the boring movie channel.

“Well,” said Mabel as she finished eating her 8th slice of pizza, “This is officially the most boring day of my life.”

“I’d say it’s the fourth most boring,” said Dipper, “remember last month?”

“Oh yeah. At least today we had a pizza rather than day old oatmeal soup. Please never make that again.”

“Given not even the cat ate any, I promise."

They finished watching the movie and then got ready for bed.

Dipper walked out of the bathroom to check on the paint on his model plane. Mabel wasn’t in bed though.

“Mabel?”

He walked downstairs to find Mabel pouring herself a glass of milk.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Just having some milk and cookies before bed,” said Mabel, “You want some?”

Dipper shrugged, “Yeah sure, why not.”

Mabel poured him a glass of milk and gave him two cookies.

“Cheers,” the two said as the drank their milk.

“Hey,” said Dipper.

“What?” replied Mabel.

“You have a milk moustache.”

“So, do you.”

The two of them laughed as they ate their cookies and then after washing up, went upstairs for bed.

“Night Dipper.”

“Night Mabel.”

Dipper turned the light to their room off and the twins both went to bed. Not realizing at all that in less than 3 months, they’re lives would become anything but boring.

That could make for a great TV show you know ; )

 


	15. Story 14: The Time I Trucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: When Soos's pickup truck gets stolen, it's up to Grunkle Stan and Ford to get it back, mafia style. Inspired by episode 2 of The Sopranos.

“Oh, come on, where is he?!” yelled Stan.

“He’ll be here soon Mr. Pines,” said Wendy.

“I know,” he replied, “But it’s not like Soos to be this late.”

At that moment, Soos walked in. He looked very tired.

“Soos?” said Stan, “Where have you been? You’re nearly an hour late!”

“I’m sorry Mr. Pines,” said Soos, “I’m just having a bad morning.”

“What happened?”

“My truck got stolen last night, and I had to walk to work today. I got chased by a squirrel too.”

“Oh, Soos, I’m so sorry,” said Wendy.

“How did that happen?” said Stan.

“I don’t know,” replied Soos, “I…I’m just not in a good mood. Anyways, what do you want me to do today Mr. Pines?”

Stan paused for a second. He could tell Soos really was heartbroken. And he could get why. He’d known Soos for over 10 years now and still remembered the day he got that truck. Seeing his best employee be so hurt, hurt him too.

“How about you take the day off Soos,” he replied, “Until you get this all settled.”

“But I came into work just to take my mind off it, Mr. Pines,” replied Soos, “Please give me something to do.”

Stan thought for a second until an idea hit him.

“Okay,” he said, “I have a few things to do today so, do you think you can keep an eye on the place and the kids until they go to bed? I maybe late.”

“Uh, okay,” said Soos. While confused, he felt better knowing Stan wanted him to work longer today. While for others it would be the last thing they’d want to hear, for him, it made this already bad day a bit better.

“Okay, I’ll see you both later,” said Stan.

“See ya Mr. Pines,” said Wendy and Soos.

An hour later, Stan and Ford, who he dragged with him on his outing, were on the road.

“Okay, can you run by me again what’s going on and why it involves me?” Ford said.

“It’s simple,” said Stan, “Someone stole Soos’s truck. He feels awful about it.”

“But what does that have to do with us going to Portland?”

“Shut up and let me explain!” yelled Stan. “I’ve got a friend who owns car repair shop. I called him up to see if he’s seen a truck with the same license plates that were on Soos’s.”

“And?”

“While it didn’t come to him, he made a few calls and called back to tell me he does have a buddy who did have a truck with those plates pass through his shop.”

“And we’re going to Portland to talk to him?” asked Ford.

“No,” said Stan, “The truck had long left by the time he got the call. But he did tell him that the driver had a uniform on from Buckstars.”

“Buckstars?” said Ford.

“It’s an overpriced coffee chain,” said Stan, “Popular with the youth. I don’t why. They’re coffee always tastes like it’s burnt. Anyways, the nearest one is in Portland. So, we’re going there to ask them who the thief was.”

“Stanley,” said Ford, “What are the odds this guy even works there?”

“Look Ford, everyone in the car business either knows each other or has contacts,” said Stan, “They don’t lie…especially with stolen cars. Plus, in those ten years after dad kicked me out and before I came to see you in Gravity Falls, I gained a fair amount of contacts in both the car industry and the overpriced teen coffee house industry. So, you just have to trust me on this one.”

“I am,” said Ford, “But what’s with the bag of weapons?”

“Just in case we need to go mafia on those deadbeats. I mean, I also have contacts there…just in case.”

Soon, Stan, and a very nervous Ford arrived at the first of many Buckstars locations. The two walked into the overpriced coffee shop and got in line.

“I can help the next customer!” yelled a lady from an open counter.

“Yeah, I’ll take a double espresso,” said Stan, “Ford, you want anything?”

“Yeah, just a regular,” he said.

“That’ll be $6.18 sir, you can pick it up over there,” said the lady, as she pointed to the pickup area.

Stan then leaned in, “You mind if I ask you something?”

“Uh, what?” said the lady.

“My friend was at the repair shop down the street on Audwin Avenue and the guy in front of him leaves and drops this,” said Stan as he pulled out a clip of dollar bills. “And we’d like to give it back to him. My friend said he was wearing the same uniform that you guys here have on. He also said he was tall, had black hair, and I think, a gold chain necklace.”

“I’m sorry sir,” said the lady, “But these stores are everywhere. You’re looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“So, I am,” he replied, with a smile, “Thanks anyways.”

After they got their coffees, Stan and Ford stuck around in the shop chatting up the employees and even customers to try and find someone who matched the description of the guy they were looking for, but to no avail.

Coffee shop after coffee shop, Stan and Ford asked the same questions and each time got nowhere closer to finding the thieves. Finally, at shop number 12, Ford decided to wait outside while Stan did the talking. Several minutes later, he returned looking pleased.

“You look like you’ve won the lottery.”

“Guess you could say I have,” said Stan, “A guy who works at this branch matches the description of our car thief. Dudes name is Harry…Bert, I don’t know. College student by the looks of thing. Him and his roommate both work here and, I got the address.”

“Great,” said Ford, “My legs are killing me. Can we go find these two College jocks already and get this over with?”

The two drove to the nearby apartment complex. Stan then grabbed his bag of “goodies” and the two approached the apartment in the address.

“Remember what I told you?” said Stan.

“Yes,” said Ford, “Be threatening but don’t hurt them.”

“Well, I mean, unless they refuse to comply of course,” said Stan with a wink, as he grabbed his baseball bat.

Ford then knocked the door.

“Who is it?” said a voice from inside.

"Humulahumulayafranistan," said Stan, talking gibberish. 

“What?” said the voice.

“Franistan!” yelled Stan.

The sound of the door lock unlocking then filled the hallway as it opened ever so slightly. A tall young man with black hair and a gold necklace, just like the guy they were looking for opened the door.

“Ah, Mr. Bert?” said Ford.

“Yes,” said the man, “What do you want?”

“Have you seen a brown pickup truck around here?”

The door immediately shut without the man responding to the question. Ford looked to Stan.

Stan nodded his head.

With one kick, Ford knocked the door wide open and, in the process, hit the man who fell over.

Ford pulled out his magnet gun, “Come here!” he yelled.

Stan pulled out his baseball bat as well as his own gun and proceeded into the living room. Ford grabbed the guy and pushed him into the living room.

“Anyone else here deadbeat?!” yelled Ford.

“Hey, Harry?” said a voice from the bedroom.

“Yup,” said Stan, “Here comes Chad now.”

“I can’t find my textbook anywhere and…”

The guy watched as Ford pushed his roommate onto the sofa.

“Harry!” he yelled.

“You boys drove off with the wrong pickup truck last night!” yelled Stan.

“Oh, my goodness,” said the roommate as Stan pinned him to the wall.

“We’re not saying anything until I call my lawyer!” yelled Harry.

“Well go ahead, make a statement!” yelled Ford as he showed him his magnet gun as if it was a real gun, “I’ve got Judge Judy right here for you!”

Stan and Ford dragged the two out of the apartment and downstairs to the car garage.

“You boys put a real crimp in my week!” yelled Stan, “I should make the two of you loons pay my gas bill while I’m at it!”

“Hey Stanley,” said Ford, “I found the truck, but you’re not gonna like what you see.”

Stan walked up to the truck to find that its wheels were missing, and it had several pieces removed sitting in its bed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“That…that’s not it,” said Harry.

“Oh yeah?” said Stan, “Then why does it have the plate number I’ve been carrying around all across this damn city asking people in Buckstars about?!”

The two boys were speechless.

“Alright, let me tell you what’s gonna happen,” said Stan, “The two of you are gonna put every single piece you’ve removed back onto that truck. And then you give me the keys, and pretend like you’ve never seen my face in your entire life. Do I make myself clear?!”

The two of them nodded their heads.

* * *

The next morning, Soos woke up early. This time he planned to catch the morning bus so he wouldn’t be late for work.

As he opened his window, he was stunned by what he saw. He ran outside as fast as he could.

There, sitting in the driveway was his pickup truck.

“Abuelita!” he yelled, “My truck’s back!”

He then noticed a note on the windshield. He opened it. Inside were the keys and a letter.

_Dear Soos,_

_Me and Ford found your truck last night and thought you’d love to have it back. No need to thank us, just don’t be late for work today._

_With love, Mr. Pines_

Soos shed a tear of joy. He could not believe that Stan found his truck for him. He went back inside and brought out his jar of cookies to take into work for his boss. His way of thanking him.

As he was about to get into the truck and drive off to the Mystery Shack, he noticed something.

“Huh, the wheels look a bit different. Eh, I must be seeing things,” he thought.

And with that, Soos drove off to the Mystery Shack.

Meanwhile, hiding in a nearby bush, Ford dialed up Stan.

“He didn’t notice the wheels.”

“Good,” said Stan, “The Portland Police departments got nothing on me or you. We take this to our graves.”

“Sure thing,” said Ford, “Oh, and by the way, never make me enter another Buckstars again! I think my coat smells like cappuccino permanently now.”

 


	16. Story 15: Overdue Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ford goes to the library to return an overdue book and gets fascinated by modern technology.

It was a cool early September morning. Stan sat on the couch drinking a soda while watching TV. At that moment, Ford walked in.

“Hey Stanley,” he said, “you mind if I borrow your car?”

“You mind telling me at least why,” he replied.

“Well, I found this old library book in my study. Turns out I borrowed a while back and meant to return it back in August.”

“You might wanna relax sixer, I mean, it’s only been a month.”

“Stanley, it’s been sitting there for over thirty years.”

Stan spit his drink out, “Why the heck would you keep it out for over thirty years?!”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Ford, “Maybe because I wasn’t in this dimension for thirty years!”

“Oh, right, all that portal junk. Ever since the kids left and you saying we were gonna go sailing in a few days, I’ve kind of forgotten about all that stuff.”

“Well, lucky for me, I spotted this while packing. Now I can return it to the library and given their maximum five dollar fine, I think I should be okay. Well, see you soon.”

“Uh, Ford…about that!”

But before Stan could stop him, Ford was already outside. He ran outside but it was too late, he was already driving to the library. Stan ran back inside and made a phone call.

“Hello, Soos, get over here right now!”

“Right here Mr. Pines!”

A shocked Stan turned around to see Soos standing right there.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, “I forgot, you live here now.”

“So, what’s wrong,” Soos asked.

“I’ll explain on the way!”

The two of them raced off into town after Ford. Meanwhile, he was already at the library.

As Ford walked in, he was stunned at how modern the place was. The first thing that caught his eyes were the computers in the research section.

“Uh, excuse me,” he said to one of the librarians, “Do you know where all the microfilm projectors went?”

“The what?” said the lady.

“The Microfilm projectors. There used to be tons of them when I was last here. They cataloged everything like where the books were.”

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t know what era you’re thinking of, but we use computers to catalog everything now.”

Ford looked over at the computers again and laughed, “How on Earth did computers get so tiny? They used to be huge. How much memory do they have? A megabyte?”

“Uh, sir,” the confused librarian said, “Those computers there can hold a terabyte.”

Ford felt like he was about to have a heart attack, “A terabyte?!”

“Yes. Again, I don’t know when was the last time you came here, but things have changed a lot. Now, is there anything else I help you with?”

“Well, I was looking for the return desk. I have a book I need to return.”

“The return desk is over there,” said the librarian, pointing to a large desk near the exit, “And yes, it’s automated too. All the books are cataloged digitally now.”

Ford rolled his eyes, “Thanks.” He walked over to the librarian at the desk.

“Hello, I’d like to return this book,” he said.

The librarian looked at the book.

“Sir, are you sure you borrowed this book from us?” she said, “There’s no barcode on it.”

“Yes, I did,” said Ford, opening it to the cover, “I borrowed it…a while ago.”

“Hmmm, you must have gotten it from the older books aisle. Let me check our old records for a second.”

The librarian was gone for a very long time. But she eventually came back.

“Sir, this book was checked out over thirty years ago.”

Ford chuckled a bit, “Yeah, I’ve been, uh…out of the country. I’ll gladly pay the fine though. The maximum fine is still five dollars, right?”

“Uh, sir, we actually did away with that practice many years ago.”

“What?” said Ford.

“You actually owe us, two thousand, one hundred and thirty-six dollars.”

“What!”

“And twenty-five cents.”

Soos and Stan pulled up in front of the library and raced out. Before they got to the entrance, Ford walked right out.

“Ford!” yelled Stan, “The library! They…they no longer have five-dollar fines.”

“Yes Stanley,” said Ford, “I know.”

“Please tell me you didn’t pay it.”

“No. Lucky for me this was my first overdue book on record. And given the book’s outdated, they discarded it for me free of charge. So, no, you haven’t lost over two thousand dollars.”

Stan sighed in relief, “Oh thank goodness. With the amount of damages that triangle caused me this summer, I couldn’t take another expense over a grand.”

“So, Mr. Ford dude,” said Soos, “What did you think of the library?”

“Well, it’s changed a lot since I last came here,” said Ford, “Did you know computers can hold a terabyte of storage now?”

Soos laughed, “Everyone knows that dude.”

“I don’t,” said Stan, “What the heck even is a terabyte?”

“And why are computers so small now?” added Ford.

Soos gave both Stan and Ford a pat on the back, “We have much to discuss on the ride back home.”

And so, Soos geeked out about how much technology in the last 30 years had changed to Stan and Ford.

Ford took notes all the way home while Stan fell asleep right after Soos said the word floppy disc.

Luckily, he wasn’t driving.


	17. Story 16: Piedmont Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small glimpse into the lives of Dipper and Mabel, in the fall right after their incredible summer in Gravity Falls.

It was a warm September afternoon. Dipper and Mabel were on their way home after school. The memories of their adventures in Gravity Falls were still very much alive within their minds, even as the hustle and bustle of school had begun to consume their free time.

“So, how much homework are you planning to not do tonight, Mabel?” asked Dipper.

“I’ve told you already Dipper,” replied Mabel, “My only goal in math is to pass. Anything else is a bonus.”

“With that attitude, mom and dad will have you sent to tutoring classes after the next test.”

“Oh please. I have a friend in the class right before me. And Mrs. Kelly is so laid back. She once got away with watching Battle of Thrones in class and didn’t get caught. She’ll just send me the test answers.”

Dipper rolled his eyes as the two walked into the local café to grab some smoothies.

“Hey Dipper,” said Mabel, “I just got a text from Soos and Pacifica.”

_Yo dudes! Ford went to the library today and almost paid $2,000 for an overdue book. I then spent the afternoon telling him and Mr. Pines about the wonders of modern technology. Hope you dudes are good. Love, Soos._

“Wow,” said Dipper, “How on Earth did Grunkle Ford have a two thousand dollar fine?”

“Libraries work in weird ways,” said Mabel.

“Like you’ve been to on outside of the one in our school and in Gravity Falls,” said Dipper mockingly, “So, what about Pacifica?”

“You mean your girlfriend?” said Mabel cheekily.

“Shut up and show me the text she sent!”

Mabel laughed and showed it to him.

_Hope U and Dipping sauce R good. Gravity Falls ain’t the same without you guys. Call back when UR bored of Cali._

“Ha,” said Dipper, “Classic Pacifica. She thinks we’re so bored here.”

“Well, I mean, she’s not all that wrong Dip,” said Mabel, “I mean, what have we really done since we got back that’s worth writing about?”

“Well there was…but what about…but don’t you remember…yeah, you got a point there.”

“Here’s your smoothies,” said the cashier, “That’ll be ten ninety-nine.”

“Hey Mabel, can you pay? I’m too tired to get my wallet out of my bag.”

Mabel sighed as she pulled out her wallet, “You got change for fifty bucks?” She then turned to Dipper, “You owe me. I was gonna use that to buy my week’s supply of sweater making yarn.”

“I’ll pay you back after mom and dad give us our next allowance,” said Dipper, “I’m saving for the next edition of Car Theft Grand.”

“Isn’t that game for people seventeen and older?” asked Mabel.

“Mom and dad don’t know that.”

Mabel rolled her eyes, “Pay me back or I’ll tell mom.”

Once out of the café, the twins walked down the sidewalk towards home.

“Woah, Mabel, check it out!” yelled Dipper, as he pointed to a house.”

“Mr. Jimmy’s house?” asked Mabel, “What about him?”

“Don’t you see the new car in his driveway?”

“So? That’s nothing new. It’s the fifth one he’s bought this year.”

“It’s a Mugatti Mabel! Those things cost over a million buck!”

“Oh, great. My brother, the car geek. What, is dad’s sports car not good enough?”

“Oh, come on Mabel. Half the people on our block have sports cars. That’s a supercar.”

“And, I’m out.”

Dipper looked on at the car for a good minute before racing to catch up with Mabel. Their parents weren’t yet home when they got back so they whipped up a snack for themselves.

“Why are we having leftovers?” asked Mabel, “We should have just ordered pizza.”

“You remember what mom said?” replied Dipper, “No more pizza until we finish her leftovers.”

“Grunkle Stan was never like that.”

“Yeah, but then, he wasn’t a good cook so it was either starving, eating out every night, or a trip to the ER for food poisoning.”

The two finished up and then walked into the living room to watch TV on the giant flat screen.

“Actually Dipper, I think I’m gonna go and sit by the pool right now,” said Mabel.

Dipper sighed, “Fine, I’ll just go upstairs and play video games before I do my homework.”

“Oh yeah, we have homework.”

Dipper took his bag upstairs while Mabel took hers to the pool. She put it down on one of the chairs under the backyard patio and pulled out her laptop from it. She then sat down, pulled out her phone, and texted her friends and worked on what homework she had.

“Really? I thought it would have been A,” said Mabel to her friend on the phone as she finished the first page of her work.

“Okay, I’ll call you back if I need anymore help, see ya.”

Mabel then hung up, packed all her stuff up, walked inside, and took a drink from the fridge before returning to the pool. She sat down by it for a good hour before a familiar face walked into the backyard.

“Hey Dipper,” she said, “I thought you were upstairs playing video games?”

“Yeah, but none of the guys were online at the moment,” said Dipper, “And I finished my homework so eh, I thought I’d come out and join you.”

“Care for a drink?”

“No, I’m good.”

The two sat at the pool chatting for a while before Dipper brought up question.

“Mabel, do you think that we’re spoiled?”

“Why would you think that?” asked Mabel.

“Well, I was thinking about that text Pacifica sent. About how if we get bored of life here, we’re always welcome back. And I let it go, thinking it was just Pacifica being Pacifica, but then think about it. We live in a neighbourhood where everyone has some expensive house and car, we buy overpriced smoothies, eat pizza as an afterschool snack and you’re here sitting by our giant backyard pool, while I’m upstairs playing video games. If anything, we’re no better in that case than Pacifica was.”

Mabel pondered at the thought for a second before speaking, “Well, not really Dipper. I mean, do we act spoiled?”

“A bit,” he replied.

“Even if we do, we’re nowhere near Pacifica level spoiled, even though she’s better now. And I mean, if anything, I guess we just don’t get out more. That’s why going to Gravity Falls was so hard for us then and why you think we’re spoiled now.”

“True. I mean, I guess it’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Yeah. And besides, if you ever feel like you’re too privileged, just take a trip down to Gravity Falls and get Grunkle Stan to let you mow his lawn.”

The twins laughed.

“Yeah, fair enough.”

At that moment the front door to the house opened.

“Oh, looks like mom and dad are home,” said Mabel.

“Yeah,” said Dipper, “Well this was a pretty boring day to be honest.

“Yeah. Not really something worth writing about if you ask me. Unless you’re scraping the bottom on the bowl…like I did with the cookie bowl.”

Dipper laughed, “How you do that without getting sick is a miracle of nature.”

The twins then headed inside to greet their parents.

 


	18. Story 17: Laundry Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grunkle Stan can no longer stand the smell of Dipper's dirty laundry, so he and Mabel decide to finally wash it. But when he gets dangerously close to revealing the fact that he is working on a portal with radioactive waste below the shack, Stan must now find ways to hide the truth from Mabel.

It was a lovely morning in Gravity Falls. The shine shinned brightly outside. Mabel could hear the birds chirping as she sat on her bed knitting her next sweater. At that moment, Stan walked by.

“Hey pumpkin,” he said.

“Hey Grunkle Stan,” said Mabel.

Stan suddenly backtracked as he walked into the room.

“What the heck is that smell?!”

“What smell?” asked Mabel.

“How can you not smell that?!”

Stan walked over to the twin’s closet and opened the door. There he saw to his horror, a ton of Dipper’s dirty laundry. He had to cover his mouth and nose as he backed away.

“Does you brother ever even wash his clothes?!” yelled Stan.

“Well, not since we got to Gravity Falls…I think?” replied Mabel.

“How on Earth can you live with this and not be bothered by the smell?!”

“Grunkle Stan, I’ve known Dipper since he was born. He’s a self made Ablutophobic and a germaphobe’s worst nightmare. Me on the other hand, I’ve just gotten nose blind to his smells after all these years. Probably harder on you given your pear nose,” said Mabel with a wink.

Stan rolled his eyes, “Well, your parents may let Dipper off easily but right now, you both are in my house so I say, he needs to do his laundry!”

Mabel laughed, “Good luck getting him to do that. Mom and dad couldn’t. They do his once he and I are at school. And right now, he’s out in the woods, so he’s probably not coming back until dinner.”

“Well, I’m not waiting,” said Stan, “I’m getting this…bio hazard out of my shack and into a washing machine now!”

“Can I help? I can add it to my list of things Dipper owes me for so people don’t start thinking I don’t have his back too.”

“Yeah sure,” said Stan, “And Mabel, if anyone says that about you, let me know so I can pound their faces in.”

Mabel laughed, “Don’t worry Grunkle Stan, I will.”

Stan told her to wait upstairs while he went to get his supplies. He returned 10 minutes later in a hazmat suit.

“Why do you have a hazmat suit, Grunkle Stan?” asked Mabel.

“Uh…it’s so that I don’t smell Dipper’s laundry,” he replied.

“I know that. But why do you have it in the first place?”

“Uh…no reason! Totally not to wear while transporting toxic waste to fuel something I’m keeping hidden from you kids!”

The two looked at each other in silence.

“Well, okay then,” said Mabel with a smile.

With a sigh of relief, Stan walked up to the closet door and opened it. He then used a pair of kitchen tongs to lift the clothes into a metal box he brought up.

“Why do you have a metal-”

“Don’t touch that!” yelled Stan, “It’s made of lead.”

“Why do you have a lead box? And why are you dumping Dipper’s dirty clothes into it?”

“Uh…again, no reason! Just so that we don’t smell it while on our way to the laundromat. And I _totally_ don’t have this lead box because I use it to store radioactive waste so that you kids and no one within a 30-mile radius of here dies of radiation poisoning!”

Mabel’s jaw dropped open, “Uh…that was oddly specific, but…okay then.”

The two stood there again not saying anything while Stan loaded the last of Dipper’s clothes into the box.

“Let’s go to the laundromat now.”

Stan loaded the lead box into the trunk of his car, took off his hazmat suit, and then he and Mabel got in and drove to the laundromat. The weight of the box made the car’s front lift up as they drove quickly down the roads. Soon they reached the laundromat. Stan once again put on his hazmat suit and lifted the lead box out of the trunk and into the laundromat.

Even in the lead box, the smell escaped and people in the laundromat began to cover their noses. Soon it became so unbearable that several people ran out, gasping for air.

“Seriously Mabel,” said Stan, “What on Earth makes your brother’s clothes so smelly? Apart from the fact that this is probably the first time this summer that these are being washed.”

“He’s twelve, sweaty and awkward…and also has to work in the same gift shop with Wendy,” said Mabel, “What do you suspect?”

“Point taken. Remind me to make him work in the gift shop after Wendy goes home.”

The two finished loading Dipper’s clothes into the washing machine and turned it on.

“There we go. In an hour, Dipper’s clothes will be clean again,” said Stan.

“For like, three days,” joked Mabel, “He’ll sweat right through them by tomorrow.”

The two laughed as they made more jokes about Dipper.

“Hey, Mabel, you mind keeping an eye on this while I quickly run an errand?”

“Yeah sure.”

Stan picked up the lead box and ran out to his car. He was gone for a while before her returned. When he did, he had a yellow glowing substance on his forehead.

“What’s that on your head, Grunkle Stan?”

Stan looked up and quickly wiped the substance away.

“Oh, nothing. Totally not radioactive waste I’m using without proper safety precautions to do something highly risky!”

Mabel shrugged, “Eh, I’ve heard weirder excuses from Dipper for why he didn’t sleep well.”

They waited out the time on the washing machine. Then they put it into the dryer and spent the next hour talking about life.

“And that’s the story of how I ended up meeting and dating several cute vampires in the vampire dimension,” said Mabel.

“So, wait, you’re actually thirty-five in that dimension?” asked Stan.

“Yeah, time moves differently there.”

At that moment, the dryer finished its cycle.

“Great, let’s get these suckers back home!” yelled Stan.

This time, loading them into a regular hamper, Stan and Mabel raced back to the Mystery Shack before the laundromat owner realized that Stan had stolen one of the washing machines. Once they got back, they set Dipper’s clothes back up in the closet properly.

“What are you guys doing in the closet?” asked Dipper as he returned.

The two turned around, “Oh, hey Dipper,” said Mabel, “We have a surprise for you.”

“Yeah,” said Stan, “The smell of your laundry had become so unbearable that I feared it was near to becoming a public health hazard. So, me and Mabel cleaned it up for you.”

Dipper looked on at his clean clothes, “Uh…”

“Don’t even begin to ask us how hard it was to do this?” said Stan.

“Yeah, but the important thing is that now your clothes are all clean,” said Mabel.

The two high fived each other as they walked out of the room.

“We’ll let you get used to the detergent smell in them,” said Stan, “I hope you don’t mind that we used baby wipes smelling detergent. That was the only type the laundromat had available.”

“Yeah,” said Mabel, “Well, if you need us, we’ll be downstairs smelling flowers until our noses stop remembering the smell.”

Dipper walked up to his clean clothes and looked at them. The smell of baby wipes was still very strong in them. He then noticed something.

“Ah, come on! They didn’t even iron them out!” he yelled, “As if washing them was bad enough.”

 


	19. Story 18: Corduroy Robbery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by an actual scrapped B-Plot from Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan tries to teach Wendy the art of being a small time crook. But when she takes things too far, both of them learn a valuable lesson.

Story 18: Corduroy Robbery

“Wendy, we gotta talk,” said Stan as he gestured her to come into his office.

Wendy walked in nervously as she put her hands in her pocket.

“Have a seat,” he said.

“Uh, is everything okay Mr. Pines?” she asked.

“I’ll cut to the chase. I saw you on my surveillance system, shoplifting a few chocolate bars…and a snow globe from the giftshop.”

Wendy’s heart sank. She knew it looked bad on her side, but she had a legitimate reason to do it. Earlier in the day she had gotten into a heated argument with her dad, Manly Dan. He was mad at her for constantly getting into trouble and hanging out with friends who he felt were bad influences on her. He had threatened to ground her if she got into trouble again. In her frustration over it, she grabbed those items from the gift shop to try and take her mind off of it. Now she felt that her job was in jeopardy too.

She put her head down in shame, “I’m so sorry Mr. Pines. I know…I’m in a boat load of trouble. Are…are you gonna fire me?”

“Far from it,” he replied.

Wendy looked up.

“You’ve got a real gift there, Corduroy. You’re the best thief I’ve ever seen!”

What?” she said, confused.

“The way you effortlessly snatched those chocolate bars off the shelf and the way you took that snow globe. It takes a seasoned thief like me to see one in the making.”

“Uh…thank you?”

“Think about it, Wendy. You and me! I’ve been waiting my whole life to discover someone who’s as good a pickpocket as I am.”

“Really?”

“Really! You and me, we could go out there and…knock down a bank or something.”

Wendy still had some doubts, but it made her feel proud to hear someone actually acknowledging her talents instead of being mad at her.”

“Really, Mr. Pines?”

“Not yet,” said Stan, “You’re not ready…yet.”

Stan took Wendy out into town to prepare her and teach her how to be a small-time crook. The two start off with simple things like knocking over hot dog carts and setting off car alarms. Soon though, as Wendy got better and better, Stan upped the antics. They then began minor shoplifting. A bag of potato chips here, a candy bar there, Stan even managed to steal two Brolex watches (which would later turn out to be fakes). By that afternoon, the two had racked up a considerable amount of crimes.

“I gotta admit Mr. Pines,” said Wendy, “I had my doubts at first, but this was actually pretty fun.”

“See,” said Stan, “You have a real gift when it comes to thievery. Reminds me of me when I was your age.”

Wendy laughed, “Must’ve been a long time ago.”

Stan rolled his eyes.

“You know Mr. Pines; this stuff is pretty small time compared to the things you’ve done.”

“You gotta start off small and work your way to the big jobs, Wendy.”

“I feel like we could do a big job,” she said, “And I got just the idea. Tonight! You and me. We’re gonna steal the diamond from the Gravity Falls History Museum!”

Stan spit out his drink, “What?!”

“Think about it,” said Wendy, “We could split it into pieces and wear it around our necks…we’d look like ballers!”

Stan looked on at his protégé, surprised, “Woah, you’re starting to scare me a little bit Wendy. Even I’ve never stolen a diamond before. Are you crazy? Also, isn’t that a bit cliché?”

“Yeah, I’m crazy!” yelled Wendy, “And screw being cliché! I know you’d do it if you had the chance! What do you say Stan, do you wanna do it?

“Let’s do it!” he yelled.

* * *

That night, Wendy and Stan pulled up to the Gravity Falls History Museum and got ready. First, Wendy, who had borrowed Mabel’s grappling hook, fired it at the window they planned to enter from. Then she pulled herself up into it. Then helped Stan up.

“Next time, you climb up first and pull me up,” said Wendy.

“Probably,” said Stan, “Ahhh my back.”

“Don’t tell me you threw your back out again?”

“I…I think I did, while climbing through that window.”

“Great, can this night go anymore wrong!” yelled Wendy.

“Hey, who’s there!” yelled a voice.

“Great, security,” said Wendy.

“Wendy, you gotta steal that diamond! I’ll stall the guard somehow,” said Stan.

“Nice idea,” she replied, “Or I could just do this.”

Wendy touched one of the exhibits which triggered an alarm.

“See you on the other side Stan.”

Stan watched as Wendy raced through the halls, dodging exhibits and even knocking two guards down.

“Wendy!” yelled Stan.

Wendy managed to make it to the room the diamond was in. Her distraction had worked, as all the guards ran past her towards where Stan was. She crept up to the diamond, and gently lifted it off its display.

“Success,” she said.

At that moment, Wendy felt a hand grab her shoulder. She looked up to see another security guard looking down at her.

“Miss Corduroy,” he said in a deep voice, “Come with me.”

The next thing Wendy knew, she was sitting in a cell at the Gravity Falls police station.

Sherriff Blubs approached her, “I let you off with a warning when you stole my patrol car. I had hoped you’d learn your lesson,” he said, “Looks like you did the exact opposite.”

Wendy had no words to fight back with. She had wound up in here on her own terms.

“Well, given the severity of your crimes this time and given you’re not eighteen…despite the fake ID’s in your pockets saying otherwise…I’m afraid we’ll have to call your dad up in the morning to come by and talk this over with us.”

“My dad!” she yelled, “Please, you can’t tell him I got arrested! He’ll kill me!”

“Rules, are rules Wendy,” said Blubs, “If you can’t handle the consequences, then don’t break the rules in the first place.”

Blubs walked over to his office, leaving a very distraught Wendy alone. She had let herself get carried away and now it had caught up to her. She feared what lay ahead. She was scared at how mad her father would be about this. What would her consequences be? Would she ever be allowed to see her friends again? Would anyone ever trust her again?

It was times like this that made her miss her mother. The one person in her life who had truly been there for her through it all. She had felt a strong connection to her in the time she knew her. But those days were long gone. She was now all alone. Alone and left to face whatever lay ahead on her own.

Wendy’s contemplations were cut short as Blubs returned. This time, Stan was with him.

“Alright Wendy, you’re free to go,” he said as he opened her cell.

“What?” asked Wendy.

“Yeah, you heard me. You can go.”

Wendy walked out of the cell and watched as Blubs escorted Stan into it. Before she could speak, Blubs turned around.

“And, we won’t be calling your dad about this anymore. You are, incredibly lucky young lady.”

Once Blubs walked away, Wendy turned to Stan.

“Uh, what just happened?” she asked.

“Simple, I took the blame,” said Stan.

“What?”

“Yeah. I managed to get out of the museum before the cops caught me. I saw them haul you away so I knew I had to get you. So, I took the blame for the crime. I told them that I was the one who planned to steal the diamond and got you caught up in this. They then took one look at my record and bought the whole story. They also erased this off your record so you don’t have to worry about your dad finding out you almost robbed a diamond from a museum.”

Wendy was shocked and also speechless. Stan had straight up sacrificed his freedom for her.

“But…but why did you do that for me?” she asked, “You’re gonna have to spend the next few days here. Why didn’t you just not bail me out.”

Stan sighed, Well, firstly, the bail on you was like five hundred dollars. I wasn’t ready to pay that much and it would still have been on your record. And secondly, I realized…I’m old. I’ve already had a life. And it’s a life in which I’ve made many mistakes which I’m not proud of. Getting you involved into this is one of them. Wendy, you still have a life ahead of you. Don’t waste it by making the same mistakes I did. Make the choice to not be an idiot like me.”

Wendy began to tear up slightly upon hearing that. In a way, it was the first form of moral and motivational support she had heard ever since she lost her mother.

“Wow…thanks Mr. Pines. That…that really means a lot to me.”

Stan reached out through the cell bars and gave Wendy a pat on her shoulders.

“You’ve got a real gift Wendy. Those quick fingers of yours. Don’t use them for stealing. Maybe…learn to play an instrument or something. Use them for something that’s good…and also legal, or else you’ll end up in here like me.”

“I will. Thanks Mr. Pines.”

“Eh, don’t sweat it kid. Now get out of here. You kids shouldn’t be in a police station for this long unless it’s for one of those school trips or something.”

As Wendy walked out, she turned back one more time, “You sure you’ll be okay in here?”

“Trust me, I’ve been to worse prisons in other countries,” said Stan, “Compared to them this is like a five-star hotel. But tell Dipper and Mabel to swing by here in the morning with my “bail money,” okay?”

Wendy nodded as she left the police station, feeling like a changed person. It was time for her to use her skills for something more and something better than stealing. The world was waiting for her. All she needed to do now was find her place within it.

 


	20. Story 19: The Fiddle and The Ford

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of Stanford's logs in the REAL LIFE Journal 3, this story follows him and McGucket working on the bunker that would eventually house the Shapeshifter.

It was a late August morning in the year 1981. Stanford Pines and his assistant, Fiddleford Hadron McGucket were having a breakfast of Ham sandwiches when McGucket brought up a question.

“I’ve been thinking Stanford,” he said, “Do we have some sort of fail-safe plan?”

Ford took a sip of his coffee, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, assuming that the portal works in the manner you’ve been saying it will, and it opens a gateway to this, “Weirdness Dimension,” which is where all of Gravity Falls’ weirdness comes from, do you have a plan for what to do next?”

“Simple my friend. We explore it, take photos and document it. And then publish it and soon we’re both off to Stockholm to receive the Noble Prize and launch our careers.”

“I know that,” said McGucket, “But what if we make things worse?”

Stanford looked on at him, “And how so?”

“Well, what if the portal creates more breaches in this rift between the dimensions and causes more beings to leak into ours. And what if we capture one and it ends up being too tough for us to contain down here.”

“Well, you do have a point there.”

“And that’s not all. What if these beings are exposed to some unknown disease that we’re not immune to? If it was to escape, we could be looking at a biohazard of unbelievable proportions.”

Ford put his hands on his head, “You’re right. That definitely is a risk we cannot take without having a plan.”

“Exactly,” said McGucket, “If we’re to advance any further with this project, we need to be ready for it. We’ll need a place where we can contain any specimens we find, so that we can study them safely but that they don’t affect the population or the environment.”

“So, what are you proposing?”

“A bunker. Not just any bunker, but a full-on laboratory. One that’s away from our base of operations here, and one that’s as far away from the town as we dare go. I know this may take longer to do, but we need to be ready and take the proper precautions before we go all test monkey with this.”

Stanford sighed. He knew McGucket was right even if it meant that work on the portal would be halted, “Well, we better get started on this now if we’re gonna get back to work on the portal.”

While Ford recorded his logs about the proposal in his Journal, McGucket set out to find the perfect spot to build the bunker. He soon returned having found a spot and took Ford with him to check it out.

“Why under this tree?” he asked.

“Simple,” replied McGucket as he knocked on it, “This tree is hollow. It’s the perfect spot to build the entrance to the bunker.”

“How long do you reckon this may take?”

“If we start now, we might be done before winter.”

“Alright, I’ll get the shov-”

“No, no, let me handle this,” said McGucket, “I came up with it, so I’ll build it.”

“You sure?” said Ford.

“Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

With Ford’s best wishes, McGucket began work on the bunker. He created a complicated but brilliant plan for how everything would work and how it would function. Ford came by many times during excavation to check out the progress. He always was astonished by how far he’d get with it. But one day, he spotted a bunch of Lumberjack working on the bunker with McGucket.

“Uh, excuse me?” said Ford to one of them, “Did my partner FiddleFord McGucket employ you gentlemen to help him?”

“Uh, I think so,” he replied.

“Well, did he tell you what this digging is for?”

“I don’t know. I forget.”

Ford asked multiple other lumberjacks if they knew about him and McGucket’s plans, but it was almost like they all had forgotten why they were here. Eventually, he ruled the whole experience as being a result of his overworked imagination and left McGucket be to finish the bunker.

Several weeks after the initial idea was proposed, McGucket had finished. He brought Ford down to show him it.

The two walked down the stairs and into the bunker part.

“So, this is where it all starts,” said McGucket, “When we’re here spending several days studying the specimens we capture, we can rest here rather than trek back to the shack. This can also be used in case we get nuked or in case our specimen escapes and destroys the planet.”

Ford laughed, “I think it’s more likely those darn commies will nuke us rather than us releasing an Earth ending beast into the ecosystem.”

“Well either way we’ll be ready.”

Crawling through a tunnel, the two entered a room of square shaped retractable pillars with symbols all over them.

“Now this part is the security room,” said McGucket, “There’s four symbols on these cubes that you need to press and if you accidently press or step on the wrong one, it’ll be the last mistake you ever make.”

McGucket purposely stepped on a symbol which caused the door behind them to shut and make the pillars start moving in a manner designed to squish an intruder.

“Please tell me you know the code!” yelled Ford.

“I do, don’t worry,” said McGucket. He handed Ford a piece of paper with the symbols on them.

The two then raced around the room and pressed the 4 of them in time. The next door opened and the two raced through it just as the room behind them was crushed.

“That was insane!” yelled Ford, “We could have been killed!”

“Exactly,” said McGucket, “But we didn’t because we know the code. An intruder or specimen trying to escape wouldn’t. They’d get crushed and in turn, our secrets will be safe. I got the idea off of that Russian puzzle game, Soviet Cubes.”

“Kind of reminded me about you cube puzzle more,” said Ford, “I might have to put the rest of my grant money down here. This place is more impenetrable than any bank on Earth. Plus, there’s no long lines.”

McGucket then showed Ford the observation room where they could study creatures from a safe distance.

“We can also yell rude and offensive things at them given it’s soundproof.”

“I like the way you think Fiddleford,” said Ford, “Hopefully they’re not easily offended.”

The two laughed as they walked through a closet into the final room of the bunker.

“And this is the storage room,” said McGucket, “Here we can store the specimens we capture and sleep well knowing they can’t escape.”

“But what about the dirt wa-”

“An illusion. Behind that dirt is bedrock with reinforced steel. Nothing, not even radiation can escape from here.”

“Well, McGucket, I gotta say, I’m impressed. I had my doubts at first about this whole endeavour but you’ve proven me wrong. Well done.”

McGucket smiled, “Thanks Stanford. Now, you wanna get back to work on that portal.”

“Sure thing buddy. But first, what’s that?!”

McGucket looked to where Ford was pointing. It was a skeleton.

“Oh, that’s a moleman,” he said, “No lair is complete without one.”

“Oh yeah,” said Ford. The two stood silently as they stared at the skeleton for a bit.

* * *

 

_On second thought…may want to remove this skeleton. Hopefully none are alive…_

As Ford finished writing that sentence in Journal 3, he imagined all the uses that having a bunker would do to his research. Little did he know though, that he would never get to use that bunker for what it was built for. And he sure enough didn’t know that he very soon wouldn’t even be here, sleeping in his own bed, in his own home, in his own dimension.

 


	21. Story 20: The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Grunkle Stan receives a phone call one early summer's evening, it sets in motion the start of a summer that would change his life in many ways for the better.

It was a late May evening in Gravity Falls Oregon. All was quiet in the Mystery Shack. The tourist trap that normally was hustling and bustling in the daytime was now all but a quiet little shack in the woods. Stan Pines walked into the living room, a coffee in his hands. He turned on his old Worrel TV and sat down to watch whatever was on.

With long time employee Soos and recently hired cashier Wendy gone for the night, the only sound that was heard now was that of the TV and the creaking of wooden planks within the over quarter of a century old structure.

A good hour rolled by as Stan sat on his couch, on the brink of falling asleep. He contemplated whether to call it a night or to go down to the basement and tinker with the portal. But soon, the sound of his thoughts was replaced with another one…the phone.

“Oh great!” he yelled, “Who on Earth could that be at this late hour?!”

He walked up to the phone with theories as to who it could be racing by. Was it a tour group asking to visit tomorrow? The government asking him about his tax records? And while it was at the back of his mind, the possibility of it being a family related call was there too. He picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he said.

“Hi Stanford,” said a familiar voice.

Stan recognized it anywhere, “Oh…uh, hello.” It was Shermy Pines’ son’s wife. “How…how’s it going?”

“It’s going good,” she said, “How about yourself?”

“Oh, uh…I’m fine. Yeah, what with running a tourist attraction and all. You’d be amazed with how much traffic I’m expecting to get, now with summer finally here.”

She laughed, “Oh, I bet. I mean, summer isn’t all fun and games when you’re a mom either.”

The two of them laughed. There was a long pause before she spoke again, “Stanford, I need to ask you something?”

“Oh, is everything okay?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just…it’s about the kids.”

“Oh yeah, Dylan and…Rowena!”

“Dipper and Mabel.”

Stan face palmed, “Eh, I’ll get their names soon enough. So, what about them?”

She sighed, “Well, I’m a bit worried about them. Dipper and Mabel are now home for the summer. And that of course means Dipper’s gonna be on his video game consoles all day and night, and Mabel’s either gonna be all alone in their room with the cat, watching TV, or hanging out with her friends. But they’re all gone vacation this year and well…we’re a little tight on money this year, what with Mabel getting braces and all.”

“I see. They wanted to travel but you can’t afford it this year.”

“Well, it’s not just that, Stan. I want the kids to bond more. They used to be unbelievably close…and they still are. But I worry they’re fracturing and while I want them to be independent and their own people, I also don’t want them to drift apart.”

A chill ran down Stan’s spine as he heard that. He knew far, far to well what it felt like to lose a twin. He may have only seen Dipper and Mabel once when they were born and once on New Years night many years ago, but he hoped from the day they were born that they wouldn’t suffer in the same way he did.

“So, what do you want my help with?” he asked.

“Well…I know it’s on short notice, but…but I was wondering if the kids can stay with you for the summer. I mean, it’s not a trip to Hawaii or anything, but it’s better than them being stuck in home all summer. It’ll also help me out a lot cause then I don’t have to worry about finding a babysitter to look after them given ours is on vacation too. Despite the twins saying they don’t need one.”

Stan laughed, “Back in my day, we didn’t need babysitter. A miracle any of us survived. Uh…they’re how old again?”

“Twelve. And turning thirteen at the end of August.”

“Wow. How time flies.”

“I know right. It was almost like yesterday I was watching them both walk for the first time. So, Stan? About looking after them for the summer?”

Stan pondered at the thought for a while. On one hand, the Mystery Shack was in no way a place fit for children…even if they and families were his biggest money-making customers. But on the other hand, he hadn’t seen the twins in years and wanted a chance to bond with them. He missed them deep down and he wanted them to remember him not as the hermit great uncle, but that cool one who gave them the most unruly and fun summer ever. Little did he know then what he was getting himself into when he finally replied.

“Of course. I think it’s long overdue that I get to bond with the kids. I mean, you’re talking to the responsible uncle who is a scientist and definitely not his brother who is dead because I'm Stanl…Stanford!”

“So, is that a yes?”

“Yes, of course! Your two and only two children can come. I mean I've met them twice and now to be trusted with them an entire summer, that sounds very fun and characteristically fulfilling. Totally a whole TV show worth of story right there!”

* * *

In his bed in California, Alex Hirsch awakes from a deep sleep and makes a phone call.

“Dana!” he yelled, “It’s Alex! I swear, I had the most horrifying dream! I was imagining Grunkle Stan’s phone call with the twin’s parents and he was breaking the fourth wall and…”

“No, I haven’t been drinking tequilas at the Netflix after parties?! Yes…I’ll be there tomorrow to help you with season two of the Owl House. Tell Daron Nefcy I said hi, okay? Bye.”

And with that, Alex went back to bed.

* * *

Back in the realm where Gravity Falls exists, Grunkle Stan was pacing around. It was the morning after he had agreed on the phone to look after his great niece and nephew, Dipper and Mabel Pines. He had gotten Soos and Wendy to come into his office for a meeting.

“What’s up Mr. Pines?” asked Soos.

Wendy just sat there waiting for when it would be over.

Stan sighed, “So, last night I agreed to do something and I need you both to help me.”

“Is this anything illegal?’ asked Wendy, “Because I can got borrow my dad’s crowbar if you need me to.”

“No, no, it’s not that,” said Stan, “Though, remind me about that if I ever need a crowbar. Soos, you know about my great niece and nephew Dipper and Mabel, right?”

“Yes sir Mr. Pines,” he said.

“Well, my step niece, their mother called, and asked me to look after them for the entire summer. So, they’ll be here until the end of August. I agreed I’d let them get some fresh air and do a bit of manual labor. And given they’re family, I don’t have to pay them like I do you guys. So, I need you two to look out for them and help them around the shack. Give them odd jobs here and there too.”

“Okay, whatevs,” said Wendy as she got up and walked back to the register.

But Soos gleamed with excitement over hearing that, “I promise I won’t let you down, Mr. Pines!”

Stan smiled, “You better not. Or else their mom’s gonna sue both our butts off if they come back missing even one limb or tooth.”

“I promise I won’t let that happen to them under my watch!”

“Alright. Now get back to work.”

As Soos started for the door, he turned around to ask Stan one final question.

“So, when are they coming?”

“Tomorrow,” said Stan.

And 24 hours later, Stan’s life would begin to change forever…for the better.

 


	22. Story 21: Enter the Hirsch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a different story to the other ones. This story is based off both real and made up events. This story follows Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch on a series of events one evening when his show gets renewed for a 2nd season. It's different, bizarre, but one story I really hope you'll enjoy.

_March 13 th, 2013_

_Gravity Falls main production offices at Disney Television Animation in Glendale, California_

_“Guess who has two thumbs and just got picked up for a second season?”_

_*Tweet sent*_

“Alright then, if that covers it all, then I guess we’re done.”

The room cheered with applause as the people at the meeting got up and celebrated. It was a joyous occasion indeed as Gravity Falls, Disney Channel’s newest and rapidly successful cartoon, had just been picked up for a second season.

But while many of the people at the meeting were celebrating and excited, there was one man who wasn’t as much as the others. As Alex Hirsch walked out of that meeting, the success of his creation was the last thing on his mind. Making sure it stayed true to his vision was what he really was nervous of.

“Hey Alex!” yelled someone from a desk, “You’re wanted in the writer’s room.”

“On it,” he replied.

“Alex!” yelled another member of the team as she passed by, “The Deep End is airing in like two days and S&P needs your input on some last-minute adjustments.”

Alex sighed, “Can it wait until later tonight? I’ve got a meeting with the writers right now.”

“Eleven the latest Hirsch!” she said as she left to let them know.

Alex sighed as he walked into the writer’s room where his team was waiting.

“Thanks for being here after hours again,” said Alex.

“Uh, Alex?” said Zach Paez, one of the writers, “We still have another two hours before quitting time.”

Alex facepalmed, “Sorry. I…I’m just running on barely four hours of sleep right now.” He grabbed himself a coffee, took a sip and then continued, “I’m sure you heard the exciting news. The show got picked up for a second season.”

The writers all clapped in excitement. Alex forced a smile before telling them to quiet down.

“We got a long road ahead of us. Especially since you guys…and only you guys know that this season will be the last. Now, I don’t want anyone telling that to anyone else until it’s appropriate. The last thing I need is thousands of fans begging me to rethink without knowing why it’s ending.”

The writers all nodded.

“Okay then. I asked you all to come up with ideas we may use for the second season. Lay them on me.”

The writers all stood up and took turns saying their ideas.

“How about for the season premiere, we have Dipper and Mabel discovering a major clue that will help them find the author?”

“Hmm,” said Alex, “Well, maybe we could start with a minor detail, but not something major. Given how long I feel this hiatus will be, we need to bring fans back into the action and reintroduce the characters, not throw a major hint. Though, I’d keep that for consideration.”

Another writer stood up, “How about in episode one of season two, we have the twins battle some sort of major threat which makes Stan acknowledge that he knows Gravity Falls is a weird place.”

Alex pondered as he wrote the idea onto a white board, “I like it. But what might that threat be?”

“I…I had a few ideas. Maybe a monster, or a rival group of paranormal hunters. Maybe Dipper himself does something which backfires.”

Alex wrote all the ideas on the board, “Well, I definitely see potential there. Iron those ideas out by the time of the next meeting and we can go further into it. Anyone else?”

Another writer stood up, “I was thinking that maybe in terms of the romance side, we need to close the Dipper loving Wendy thing, ASAP. You said it yourself that you wished we did less of it during season one. So, I was thinking that maybe we can have just one more episode dedicated to it which kills the ship.”

Alex laughed, “You guys sure do pay attention to Tumblr a lot by the looks of things?”

They all nodded.

“Don’t worry. I do too…given I wanna know the moment they’ve cracked some important plot line so we can take action. Though, right now everyone is still waiting for more episodes. Anyways…yeah, I think that’s an important thing. It needs to be natural though, not forced. It has to close it but not be a sort of fan service to people who dislike it.”

“Yeah,” said the writer, “I’ll come up with some ideas and get back to you.”

“Good,” said Alex, “Well, we’ll talk more in the morning.”

The writers all got up and began to leave. At that moment, one of the newer writers, Jeffrey Rowe looked back and noticed Alex wasn’t looking as pleased as he thought he would. He approached him.

“Uh, excuse me, Alex,” he said.

“Oh, uh, yes…Jeff?” he replied.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re good. You look a bit stressed.”

“Oh, no, I…I’m fine. It’s just…on one hand I’m really excited about this second season. I mean, the mouse liked my show enough to want more and I’m excited but…it’s just so much work! I had to sleep in my office last night as I was juggling scripts and meetings and phone calls and emails and…yeah…it’s fun, but stressful.”

Jeff gave Alex a pat on the back, “Yeah, making a show isn’t easy, especially a cartoon. What with the writing, voice acting, art, deadlines and stuff. But the end result is something magical. And I think the fans really have made all that hard work pay off.”

Alex smiled, “I know. It’s just a lot of work. But I’d rather do it all than let it fall into the wrong hands.”

“Well, don’t forget to have some fun along the way Alex,” said Jeff, “If that means taking a break, then I’d say go for it.”

The two then walked away to their offices. Alex walked to his office and as expected; his PO box was filled to the brim with letters.

“Hey Mike!” he yelled.

“Yes?!” yelled Mike Rianda from his office.

“I told you not to dump memos in my PO box anymore cause of the fan mail!”

“Well, you weren’t there when I needed to drop it off so where else was it gonna go?!”

Alex sighed as he picked the letters out of this PO box and carried them into his office. He threw them onto his desk and sat down. He turned on his computer and checked his inbox. There were multiple emails he needed to read.

“Well, there goes my chance of getting sleep tonight,” he said.

Alex looked at the pile of fan mail sitting on his desk, “Eh, maybe they’ll get me through the night.”

He opened the first letter. As he had come to expect, it was from someone who claimed to be his biggest fan. They said how much they liked the show and the episodes and maybe there was some fanart, but Alex was now used to seeing the same old stuff. He was touched by them of course, but he longed for some change. He wanted a twist on the normal and stressful life he was leading. Making a cartoon was not the prancing around Disneyland he had thought. There was a lot more work, deadlines, arguments and sleepless nights involved.

He looked over to a season 1 poster which hung on his wall, “I wish I was living your life for a day, Dipper and Mabel.”

Alex skimmed through the fan mail as quickly as he could. He was about to call up S&P and say he was coming in to review the new episode with them, when he spotted a letter sitting on the floor. He sighed as he picked it up and read the message on it.

“From you #1 fan!”

Alex chuckled, “number one fan number two hundred and eight.”

But as he opened the letter and began to read it, things changed…

_Dear: Alex Hirsch,_

_I’m 10 years old and live in Denver Colorado. I cannot express to you how much Gravity Falls means to me. Watching it has been an absolute joy. My mom said it would be a miracle if you read this but I still wanted to try to send you a letter given your show really means so much to me._

_But it means a lot more to my 8-year-old younger brother. He loves it more than you can ever imagine. You see, he’s been in and out of hospital a lot. He’s had problems and weird things that I can’t pronounce. He’s even lost all his hair. My mom tells me it’s part of the treatment that’ll make him better. But he often gets bored while resting and likes watching the TV. He especially loves Gravity Falls. We’ve watched all the episodes so far together from his hospital bed. I’ve never seen him laugh and smile as much as he’s done while watching Gravity Falls. I guess it’s cause he always compares me to Mabel and himself to Dipper. He always likes acting more mature for his age than I do. Watching Gravity Falls has helped him get by some really tough times. It always cheers him up before he heads off to his next…well, I can’t pronounce it. But it has the word therapy in it._

_For example, the night before one of his last surgeries, we both watched Gravity Falls until he had to go to bed and right before he left too. The first thing he asked me when he woke up the next day after it was if we could watch it again. And we did. He’s at home now and getting better, but he still loves watching Gravity Falls over and over again. I even surprised him by telling him I was writing this letter. I also included some drawings he made while in the hospital for you to enjoy. I know you’re really busy, but I hope this puts a smile on your face. Because your show sure did put one on him._

_Please never stop being awesome. I can’t wait for more episodes. My brother of course, can’t wait at all._

_Love, Sarah and Andy_

That letter didn’t make Alex smile. It made him tear up. As he wiped the tears away, he looked at the drawings behind the letter. They were of Dipper and Mabel, Stan, Waddles and other characters. They weren’t the best, but to him, they meant the world.

He immediately grabbed a pen and paper and began writing. He wrote a response and even included some original artwork in it. He then put it into an envelop, wrote the return address onto it, and ran off to the mail room to have it mailed out that night.

“Make sure this one gets to where it’s going,” he told the mailman.

Sitting in his office, Alex had many thoughts racing through his mind. He couldn’t understand why out of the many fan letters he’d received and read, this one stood out.

Was it the touching story? Was it the fact two siblings had grown closer thanks to seeing his show? Was it the artwork, knowing it was drawn by a child who had been seriously ill? Whatever the reason, the same response in Alex’s mind raced by.

“I have to finish this show,” he said, “Even if it kills me.”

He looked at the clock. It was getting late. He knew that if he was going to finish Gravity Falls, he needed to be in the right place of mind. And being stressed in an office with only his thoughts wasn’t going to get it done. He picked up the phone and began making phone calls.

“Look, I know it’s last minute, but please just come!” he yelled, “It’ll be fun.”

“Yes, I know about the meeting on Sunday. We’ll be back before that.”

“Well, tell S&P to review it themselves! What do they think…I’m gonna purposely scar children with bleeding animal eyes or something for fun?!”

“Okay, thanks. Talk to you later. Bye Ariel.”

* * *

_March 14 th, 2013_

_“MYSTERY TOUR 2013! My 4-day crew road trip to find the weirdest tourist traps in Oregon officially starts... NOW!”_

_*Tweet Sent*_

It wasn’t easy. But Alex had managed to convince the executives to let him and his crew go on a 4-day long road trip right through the Pacific Northwest. It was not only to allow the crew to get a feel for the place in preparation for season 2, but also a way for Alex to take a break.

“Wow Alex,” said Jeffrey Rowe, “You’re looking a lot better from yesterday.”

“Thanks,” replied Alex, “I guess a good night’s sleep helped.”

“Yeah. I guess you took my advice.”

“What do you mean?”

“The sudden break and all. Not normally a thing I’d see Alex Hirsch doing.”

Alex laughed, “Well, Alex Hirsch likes mixing it up every now and then. And besides, the fans have given the show so much support and love. The least I can do is finish it to the best of my ability. And…I can’t do that if I’m so overwhelmed. I want to go into season 2 with the hopes to make it the best it can be. And for that, I need a rest.”

Jeff smiled, “Well, I’m proud of you Alex. Now come on. Let’s go.”

Alex laughed, “Hey, I’m still your boss. You follow me.”

The two laughed as they climbed into the van with the rest of the crew. Before leaving, Alex took his Grunkle Stan fez off, and put it on the dashboard next to the Dipper hat. He looked back at the Disney headquarters.

“See you soon guys,” he said, as him and the Gravity Falls crew embarked on their 4-day long adventure into the world that the show they worked on was set it.

 


	23. Story 22: One Summer, Two Twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of the real original plan for the final episode of Gravity Falls, as revealed by Alex Hirsch in his commentary on the Gravity Falls box set, this story follows Dipper and Mabel on the day before their 13th birthday, as they're packing up to head home. But when a chance encounter with one final unusual Gravity Falls anomaly takes them back to the past, both twins learn why saying goodbye is so hard for them, and just how much they've grown because of it.

“It won’t fit Mabel! Put it in my suitcase,” said Dipper.

Mabel sighed, “You promise not to break it? I spent ages crafting it.”

“Your Clay Gummy Kola will be fine. Trust me.”

Mabel laughed, “Ironic of you to say that given all this summer you lived by trusting no one.”

He rolled his eyes as she gave him it to pack.

Dipper and Mabel were packing their bag as their summer drew to a close. It was warm August 30th morning. The twins wanted to get their packing done now so that tomorrow they could spend the whole day, their final whole day in Gravity Falls and their birthday, with those they cared for and loved.

As Mabel took the last of her posters down, she let out a sigh.

“Remember when I put up my first poster and then told you to check out all the splinters, I got from it?”

Dipper laughed, “Yeah. I was a bit too occupied with the fact Gompers was on my bed.”

“I’ll miss that goat. But I know Waddles will miss him the most. The two of them were supposed to go on their honeymoon next month.”

The two laughed as they looked at their nearly empty room. It looked just like how it did when they first walked into it.

“Man, it feels weird knowing we’ll be gone from here in a day,” said Dipper.

“I know right,” replied Mabel, “It’s like only yesterday we were moving in here for the first time. I’m seriously gonna miss Gravity Falls. I mean, I feel more ready to say goodbye than I was before that whole Weirdmageddon junk…but then, I don’t really wanna at the same time.”

“Yeah. I almost don’t even want to leave either. It feels kind of scary to think we’ll be heading home to California soon. I guess, I just don’t fully feel ready to deal with that yet after settling down here over the summer.”

“I know right,” said Mabel, “I guess I’m just saying this cause of nostalgia, but sometimes I still really wish this summer could last forever.”

“Honestly, I get that feeling too now,” said Dipper, “I’m gonna miss this place. We’ve made so many memories here and I don’t want them to end either.”

“Trust me Dipper…I know. I’ve filled up a suitcase full of scrapbooks to prove it.”

Dipper laughed, “You and that Polaroid of yours.”

“Hey, I play it old school,” said Mabel, “Eighties music, eighties party fashion, eighties camera…you name it.”

As the twins resumed packing, they heard a knock downstairs.

“Wonder who that is?” said Dipper.

The two walked down and opened the door. To their surprise, it was their old foe turned friend, Blendin.

“Oh, hey Blendin,” said Mabel, “What’s up?”

“Oh. H…Hey Mmm…Mabel. Not much a…at all,” he said, “You two?”

“Same,” said Dipper, “It’s just a quiet day full of packing for us.”

“Oh good,” said Blendin with a sigh, “I…I came to warn you…you two about these time bubbles floating around here.”

“Time Bubbles?” said Dipper, “Don’t you mean weirdness bubbles?”

“Yeah,” added Mabel, “Those are all gone along with the giant one I was stuck in.”

“These are diff…different,” said Blendin, “Time Bubbles occur when time is stopped for too long. Bi…Bill stopped time for several days which created many in th…this valley. They’ll disappear soon, bu…but I…I just wanted to warn you…you guys given I…I know you.”

“Aww. Thanks, Blendin,” said Mabel.

“Don…don’t take it the wrong way,” he replied, “I…I’m still on the run from those time agents for my deal with Bill. I needed to get them off my tr…trail for a while so I ca…came here given the bubbles. See you guys later.”

Blendin ran off into the woods as Dipper and Mabel looked on.

“You think we’ll ever see him again?” asked Mabel.

“Perhaps,” said Dipper, “I mean, he is a time traveller after all.”

* * *

Later that day, as Dipper and Mabel were packing, Dipper spotted something out the window.

“Uh. Mabel?”

“What?” she said.

“You gotta see this.”

Mabel walked over to the window and looked out. The two of them both looked out and down at a huge bubble floating around the Mystery Shack front yard. It was dark blue and had yellowish glow coming out of it. The two ran as quick as they could downstairs and out the door. They paused directly in front of it.

“This must be one of those time bubbles Blendin was telling us about,” said Mabel.

“Yeah,” said Dipper, “We better stay back from it. Who knows what maybe inside?”

As the twins walked back, Dipper accidently tripped on a stone that was pointing out of the ground.

“Dipper!” yelled Mabel, as she tried to grab him.

But their combined weight and loss of balance made them trip. They fell straight into the bubble.

* * *

_May 31 st, 2012_

_Gravity Falls, Oregon_

“This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!” said Mabel as she finished putting a poster up on her wall.

Dipper walked up to his bed and was surprised by what he saw on it.

“And there's a goat on my bed,” he said.

Mabel walked up to Dipper’s bed and looked at the goat.

“Hey, friend.”

The goat began to chew the sleeve of her sweater, “Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater.”

Dipper didn’t seem as amused as Mabel was at the situation.

“Alright, goat! Get off my bed!”

Dipper chased the goat out of the room, but not before tripping on a loose floor board.

Mabel laughed, “Well, I’ll remember not to walk there.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” said Dipper, “I don’t even think this room has air conditioning.”

“Well, we have a window,” said Mabel, as the window cracked, “Well…we _had_ a window.”

Dipper sighed, “This is insane. What were mom and dad thinking when they planned this for us? Okay, I get it…I play too many video games! But was sending us to some rustic old town to stay with a family member we barely know the best form of punishment they could think of?”

“I honestly feel the same,” said Mabel, “I don’t get it. I mean, this place is falling to pieces. And then there’s Grunkle Stan. Have you seen the size of his nose?! It looks like a…like a…well I can’t think of what it may look like right now, but I’ll let you know when I remember.”

“I actually hate it here! Our summer’s ruined!” yelled Dipper.

“Don’t say that,” replied Mabel, “You know mom and dad were tight on cash this year.”

“I know that. But why not just let us stay in our rooms. I mean, didn’t your friends say they were gonna do that?”

“Well, Coreena said she was gonna stay home and binge watch all those summer cartoons coming out, Polly said she was just gonna eat potato chips on her couch all month long before moving to cheese puffs, and Ally said she was gonna watch How to Teach your Mongoose three for the fifth time…no wait, fiftieth time. I don’t know about the others though.”

“See! If they’re staying home, then why couldn’t we have. We get fresh air! I mean, we have windows in our room!”

“Yeah, but you gotta admit,” said Mabel as she took a deep breath in, “The air here feels much more breathable.”

Dipper sighed, “Don’t you miss home even a bit?’

“Well of course I do! I miss the cat, my friends, who I actually was planning to go with to the park tomorrow, and of course, I miss the A/C! But I’m trying to look on the bright side of things. Who knows what maybe in store for us here? We should at least keep an open mind. We may end up really loving it here.”

“Well, I’m having a hard time believing that this place can make me love or miss it by the time we go home. Get ready for the most boring and wasteful summer ever.”

Mabel laughed, “You mean, the most awesome and unexpected summer ever.”

“Eh,” said Dipper, “Your easily impressed. But Gravity Falls is a dump compared to Piedmont. I’m sure by Monday we’ll be begging mom and dad to let us go home.”

* * *

From their hidden viewing point, Dipper and Mabel watched their past selves arguing about how much they hated being in Gravity Falls. Both were pretty shocked.

“Was I really that mad about coming here?” said Dipper

“I guess,” said Mabel, “I’m surprised by both of us. It’s like we were dying to go home so quickly.”

The two sat and pondered about the events in front of them for a while before Dipper spoke.

“It…it’s like the way we felt about coming to Gravity Falls…”

“Is how we now feel about leaving Gravity Falls,” said Mabel.

“We don’t wanna leave it.”

The bubble began to move, which made the twins fall right out of it. They watched as it floated away into the woods.

“Are we really feeling that nostalgic about leaving Gravity Falls, Dipper?” asked Mabel.

“I guess so,” he replied, “I mean, it’s the exact opposite to how we felt about being here apparently. I know for that reason, I don’t wanna leave this place anymore than you do.”

“Yeah, I get it. But look at how much we’ve grown up. We went from hating this place to loving it with all our hearts.”

“Yeah, true. I guess this whole summer in that sense has been a learning experience. We both grew up a bit in some way thanks to it.”

“Yeah. I guess…we’re more ready for the future now than we were before. Thanks Gravity Falls.”

“You know you’re saying thank you to nothing, right Mabel?” said Dipper.

“Don’t ruin the moment!” she yelled

Dipper and Mabel looked up at the sky above them. It was already the evening, and as the summer days began winding down, the sun would be setting much sooner than normal.

“Hey,” said Dipper, “I was thinking. You wanna go watch the sunset one more time before we go home? For nostalgia’s sake.”

Mabel smiled, “Of course bro, bro.”

The two got up and started for the woods.

“I know this great place Grunkle Ford took me to one night a few days ago which has a great view of the town.”

And so, Mabel led the way as she and Dipper headed up to Lookout Peak, the place she and Ford had visited only a few nights earlier, to watch the sunset one final time before they’d be heading home as their summer in Gravity Falls came to an end.

A summer which started with so many unknowns and fears, now was ending with more nostalgia and memories made that would last a lifetime.

 


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Mabel have one final look back at the place they've called home for the last 3 months.

The sun had set. It was a beautiful late August evening in Gravity Falls Oregon. The fireflies were out in full force, lighting up the otherwise dark forests with their tail glow. Through them walked two twins as they approached home.

“And that’s the story of how me, Candy and Grenda got married to vampires in the vampire dimension,” said Mabel.

“So, let me get this straight,” said Dipper, the three of you are thirty-five in that dimension?”

“We sure are. It was nice while it lasted. But we all got tired eventually of vampires.”

Dipper blinked his eyes rapidly, “Wow Mabel. Guess that’s one story you’d want to keep under wraps.”

“Yeah,” she said, “But I don’t really mind. It’s in the past now. In a universe far away.”

The two kept walking through the woods.

“It sure is a lovely evening,” said Dipper.

“Yeah,” replied Mabel, “It really is making me miss Gravity Falls already. And we still have one more day left here.”

“I know right. Hey, you know how earlier we were up on that peak and talking about all those stories we may never have heard of that happened down in the town?’

“Yeah?”

“Well, I was thinking and, while we do have stories we keep hidden, I guess they’re for a reason.”

“Yeah. I’m sure we both have big secrets and stories we’ve never told each other. Like how that whole vampire one I just told you was a story I kept secret until now.”

“Exactly. And, to be honest, who cares if we don’t know everything that went on in Gravity Falls. Some stories are better left untold after all.”

Mabel pondered, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I mean, it maybe nice at first to know them all, but then it would get boring. There would be nothing worth labouring over to figure out.”

“True. I mean, imagine if we knew who wrote those journals from the start. We’d have missed out on the adventure of a lifetime.”

Dipper laughed, “Yeah. But I sort of may have loved to know that sooner than later. You know what I mean?”

Mabel gave Dipper a playful nudge, “Yeah, I know.”

“But yeah, you’re right. We’d have missed out on the adventure of a life time if we knew before hand. I guess that goes for all of Gravity Falls. If we knew everything that went on here, then there would be nothing to leave us wanting to come back for more.”

“Yeah. I mean, we wouldn’t want to come back next year if we knew everything.”

“Kids! Dinner’s ready!” yelled Grunkle Stan from the other side of the woods.

“Coming Grunkle Stan!” yelled back Dipper. He then looked back to Mabel.

“But at the same time, I think I’m also ready to take a break from this town for a while. I kind of want to move on to new things beyond the paranormal for a while. Then maybe come back once my obsession for it is refuelled.”

“Yeah, I get ya bro,” said Mabel, “I think we both need a break from this break of a vacation.”

They both laughed.

“But hey, Gravity Falls will always be here, waiting for us to return.”

Dipper nodded before he turned back to face the forest.

“Well Gravity Falls, see you soon. The Mystery Twins will be back.”

“Have something cool ready for us when we do!” added Mabel.

“Kids!”

“Alright, let’s go home before Grunkle Stan and Ford come out here with baseball bats.”

Mabel laughed, “Yeah.”

Dipper sighed, “Some things just don’t change, don’t they?”

Mabel sighed, “No, they don’t Dipper. No, they don’t.”

And so, Dipper and Mabel headed back home to the Mystery Shack. And with that, their final day of childhood came to a close. With their teenage years and life ahead of them, they readied themselves to say farewell to this chapter of their lives.

And though we depart from Gravity Falls not knowing all that went down within it during the summer of 2012, that’s okay. Not every story needs to end with every question solved. Not every adventure needs to be completed with every place explored. Not every stone needs to be overturned. If that’s the case, then there would be nothing new left to discover or make up. Some stories just end without fully being complete. It’s up to the reader then to fill in the gaps with their own ideas.

What happens next, what happens before, and what happens right now is in the hands of those who wish to keep it going. The next page is blank. It’s up to you now to fill it up, and keep the adventure going for a long time to come.

* * *

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Announcement!!
> 
> I'm retiring!
> 
> As in, I'm retiring from Gravity Falls fanfics. I've been writing stories for over 2 years now. And I am so proud and grateful for all the support and love you've all given my stories. 
> 
> But alas, it can't last. And this is indeed my final story. I'm moving on to bigger things now. And I also have a lot in my own life to deal with now. So I can't keep writing stories to the same extent anymore. 
> 
> But at the same time, I've been rethinking my stance on this. I still love Gravity Falls and the support people have given me has motivated me to keep writing. And they still want more. So, while I can't promise anything, this may not end up being my last GF fanfic. 
> 
> But what I can say is that for now I need a break. I need some time to rethink and try new things. And if I come up with a good idea for a fanfic, then I may write again and you'll be certain I'll publish it here. But for that I'd need time. Something I hope you'll give me.
> 
> Until that time, if you wish to talk or tell me what you thought about these stories, you can leave a comment on here, or tell me directly via my GF Twitter account ( @.forever_gf618) or Instagram account (@. ThatGFFAN). 
> 
> Words cannot express how thankful and grateful I am for all that you've done. I always never knew if my stories would be well received or liked by readers. But you've all supported me and helped me make my stories better and better with each new one that I publish. One of the reasons I fell in love with Gravity Falls was its fandom and how nice people in it were with each other. I'm so glad I was able to be part of such a fandom and let it show me the love and support it's given to so many before me and hopefully after me.
> 
> From me one final time, unless our paths cross again one day or if I ever return here with a new story for all of you to enjoy...
> 
> Goodbye
> 
> And As Always, Stay Weird
> 
> -HK That GF FAN :)


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